Depleting Esteem

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The room was not at all what I had excepted. I had expected a pigsty with pictures of playboy posters all over the walls.

That was nowhere near.

The room was clean. Not neat, but clean as though no one went in it. The walls were cream and nothing was on them. Nothing except for the TV that hung from the wall that faced his bed. The bed was at one side of the room and on the other side was a desk. I mentally scoffed.

Obviously not for homework.

It had a laptop on it and a pencil jar. The wall opposite the door had a big window, giving us a nice view of the other nice homes he lived near. There were some wardrobes near the window, probably containing his clothes and a bathroom attached to his bedroom. In the far corner, there was a small sofa with cushions on it.

This was not what I was expecting. This room was big and clean and was not messy as I had thought it would be. It was nothing like Aaron.

"Are you gonna come in or are you just gonna stand in the doorway?" Aaron said, grumpily.

I recoiled slightly at his tone and gave him a curious look, but he looked away. I wanted to ask what had happened to his mood, but I chose to leave it, thinking he was probably tired. Besides, I was only helping him out; the animosity we held for each other was irrelevant. I had said that and I would stick by it.

I walked in slowly. Only then did I realise that Aaron was shirtless in joggers. He must have removed his top whilst I came up the stairs slowly and I turned my eyes away to look at anything else but him. But, I couldn't help but take a curious peek.

His body was lean, muscular and a little tanned. A chain hung around his neck, resting on his chest and his black hair was tousled as usual. He then yawned and stretched his arms out in a tired motion. This action made me pay attention to his arms, his muscles flexing with every movement.

I blushed crimson, looking away from his body. I cleared my throat awkwardly and grabbed a pillow from his bed, tossing it onto the sofa.

"What are you doing?" He questioned, eyebrow raised.

In response I looked at him bluntly and stated in a 'duh' tone.
"Going to bed?" I said, sounding as though I didn't even know the answer myself.

He rolled his eyes.
"I meant with the cushion"

"Well" I started "I thought you were going to sleep on the bed, so I put a cushion here so I can-"

"You're not sleeping on the sofa" He stated firmly, leaving no room for argument. He picked up the cushion and put it back in its original space.
"You're sleeping on the bed" he finished.

I tensed at his words before shaking my head roughly.
"No, no, it's fine, Aaron. I'm fine." I insisted, heading towards the sofa.

Aaron blocked my path, his arms folded and I had to hold his gaze to stop from looking at his tanned torso.

"Lexi, I'm not taking no for an answer." He finalised before moving towards the bathroom.

"Oh okay." I said meekly to which Aaron nodded in acknowledgement.

"Aaron?"

"Yeah" he grunted, tiredly. I looked down at my attire.

"I need clothes to sleep in. I can't sleep in these because they'll be wrinkled in the morning." I reasoned.

I would have expected him to suggest that I sleep in nothing as it seemed like something he would say, but he didn't and to say I was shocked was an understatement. Instead he looked at the clothes I was wearing, in an assessing manner before sighing in resignation, grabbing a hoodie and some shorts from his wardrobe and tossing it over to me.
"Wear these. I'm gonna go to the bathroom" and with that he was out the door.

I looked at the hoodie. It was grey and had 'Aaron Walker' written in black font at the back. I sighed before throwing my old clothes and putting the new ones on. I laughed when the shorts looked like three quarter pyjamas on due to the height difference.

I looked at myself in the mirror. The hoodie was to big for my form. The end of it stopping mid-thigh and the shorts mid-shin. I quite liked the smell of the clothes. It smelled of scented pine and washing detergent. I sniffed the smell again a few times before brushing my hair out of my face and into a relaxed bun.

I turned when Aaron exited the bathroom and he wordlessly offered me a toothbrush which I took gratefully before making my way into my bathroom. There, I did my business before making my way into the room.

Aaron wasn't there, probably downstairs with his mom. I jumped into the bed, pulling the sheets up to my neck. I was rolling in and out of conscious when I heard the door open then shut. It was Aaron. I didn't have to even open my eyes to know that.

I was too comfy too say goodnight so I just stayed there. I heard some ruffling and then silence. I smiled slightly It was sweet of Aaron to offer the bed to me. I mean, the sofa did not look that comfy. I turned around to offer him a 'thanks' for but turned around only to find nothing.-

I sat up straight, eyes searching the room, until I saw a mop of black hair. On the sofa. He was lying down on a cushion. No blanket. The moonlight hit his body and I gazed away slightly in fear of feeling perverted for staring too long. I shook my head and concentrated on thoughts that mattered like why was he lying on the sofa?

"Aaron?" I whispered to which he responded with a soft 'hmm'.

"I didn't want you sleeping on the sofa or to give up the bed for me. I thought you'd be sleeping on the bed." I admitted honestly to which Aaron lifted his head slightly.

"Not when you're there." He said simply before relaxing back into the cushion and angling his body the other way. I could hear his breathing slowing, but sleep couldn't find its way to me.

Again, I was offended by his words. I didn't expect him to sleep next to me nor did I want him to, but his words had hurt.

Not when you're there.

As though I was too bad to be around. I already wasn't too fond of myself and his words were just the cherry on the cake. I wanted to ask more questions to quash the anxiety but I remained silent.

I didn't feel sleepy after that. I just stayed lying there. Thinking.

Was I really that bad?

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