That Wolfish Grin (Paul Lahote - Twilight Fan Fic)

Chapter 11

Whoo, it's been awhile and for that I'm truly sorry. For explanation, you can go to my profile and read it on my message board. This chapter is in Paul's POV and it's not the longest I've written, but I was happy with it. There is a section in the middle that's in italics, just know that is a memory. I tried to explain it within the story but just incase you didn't understand :)

Enjoy and let me know what you think!!

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Paul's POV

It had been three days. Three days since I saw Kara and to say I was going insane would be an understatement. I was on edge, going off on anyone and everyone. My inner wolf begged me to do something, anything to fix what we did. I rubbed my hands roughly over my face as I went through some paperwork on my desk. It was several hours past the end of the school day but I couldn't will myself to go home. There, it was quiet and held no distraction from my thoughts.

My brain had been doing nothing but replaying the kiss that I shared with Kara and the aftermath of it all. Her tear stained face would forever be ingrained in my mind. It was something that I never wanted to see again. But how to fix it?

When we kissed, it was more than I could ever imagine it would feel like. Her small frame pressed against mine. The feel of my hands on her body, something I'd been dreaming about since the day I met her. And then it all went to Hell in a matter of seconds. She thought it was a mistake. I just knew it.

After I tried to stop her, she kept rambling apologies and saying that she wouldn't tell anyone about our kiss. That's not what I wanted. To Hell if anyone knew. All I wanted was her and now I've gone and messed it all up.

I couldn't help myself. It was stupid on my part but no one knows the sheer will power it takes for me not to scoop Kara up in my arms and never let her go. She was my imprint. That's how it was supposed to be. I should be able to kiss her when I want. To hold her hand and pull her close. To tell her she's absolutely beautiful in front of the whole world. But leave it to me to come up with the bad luck to have landed in such a situation.

A knock on my office door pulled me from my thoughts. Looking at the clock on my wall, I saw it was a little past five. "Come in," I mumbled lowly, turning my attention back to the stack of papers I had yet to begin.

The door opened and the light footsteps told me it wasn't any of the guys coming to drag me out of the school like the past few nights. I looked up briefly and sighed when I saw who had entered. Gabriella crossed her arms over her chest and waited for me to say something. After a tense few minutes of silence, I finally broke.

"What do you want Gabriella?" I asked, marking the paper with more force than necessary. She wasn't exactly the person I wanted to see at the moment. The last time we talked, she was yelling and throwing things. Needless to say, I didn't want nor need a repeat. Just seeing her brought the memory flooding back.

"Damnit!" I exclaimed pushing the papers off my desk, sending them scattered over the floor. How could this have happened? I slipped up and kissed Kara before she was ready. I've ruined everything now.

"What the hell happened Paul? I just saw Kara leaving the school in tears. She said she wasn't feeling well but I know it's not that," Gabriella said angrily as she stormed into my office and slamming the door behind her. Luckily, I had no more classes or we would have been causing quite the scene. I refrained from telling her she should be in class and focused more on her words.

Kara had left the school. Most likely on her way home and it was all because of me. "Shit. I've got to go after her," I replied grabbing up some of my things frantically. Gabriella came and stood in my way, hands on her hips.

"Not before you tell me what's wrong," she demanded. She was stubborn and that's something coming from me. I knew I wasn't going to get out of telling her so, with a sigh, I sat in my office chair with my head in my hands.

"I kissed her," I said in a low voice. I didn't think she heard me because it took her a second to reply.

"You what?" she exclaimed slumping into the chair across from my desk. I clenched my teeth and took a deep breath.

"I kissed her and now I've messed everything up. I was being selfish and got caught up in the moment. I know I shouldn't have done it but I did. There's no going back," I said slamming my fists on the desk. I was surprised it didn't crack, let alone break, from the impact.

"You are so stupid Paul," she said shaking her head and narrowing her eyes in my direction.

"I know."

"No you don't know. She has no idea about any of us. She just thinks you are her teacher and friend. I don't know what was going through that thick skull of yours but you've hurt her. Did you say anything to her afterwards?" she asked leaning forward.

"I tried to stop her but she wouldn't listen. I couldn't get anything out before she started apologizing and telling me she wouldn't let anyone know we had kissed. She said to act like it never happened," I spat. It was easier said than done. I doubt I would ever forget the first kiss I shared with her.

"Well, you better hope that this doesn't come back and severely bite you. I'll try to talk to her but you do as well. You can't let it just hang. She probably think she led you to kiss her and she feels guilty about it. You need to tell her everything. And fast," Gabriella said standing abruptly and grabbing her bag from where she had deposited it on the floor next to the chair. Without another word, she left and closed the door behind her.

I hadn't done what she said. I'd shift and run to the woods around Kara's house but I could never get up the nerve to actually try to talk to her. Call me a coward. I really don't care. I was afraid. Afraid that she'd slam the door in my face without hearing my explanation. Afraid that if I did get the chance to tell her everything, and I do mean everything, that she'd reject me. I had watched her house from the sanctuary of the woods, hoping that I'd catch a glimpse but she never came out of the house. I saw her dad come and go but never Kara.

"I came to see how you were. Brady said that you don't leave until really late and sometimes only by force," Gabriella said taking a seat in the chair designated for students. I glanced up from my papers to look at her.

"How do you think I'm doing?" I asked sarcastically. She let out a sigh.

"I'm sorry Paul. I know you are having a hard time," she said, "I went by to see Kara and take her some of her school work." The mention of my imprint had me perking up. She had seen her.

"How is she?" I asked putting my pen down and giving Gabriella my full attention. She looked down at her lap and I felt my heart drop. That couldn't mean anything good. I took a second to calm my anxiously beating heart "Please Gabi, I need to know."

"She's not good. She looked like she had actually made herself sick from all the worry. She'd been crying because her eyes were red. But when I asked, she wouldn't tell me anything. Only that she just wasn't feeling good and hoped to come back to school after the weekend," Gabriella replied meeting my eyes. I felt my stomach clench. I don't know if I could last another two days without seeing her. And even then, we still weren't sure she would show come Monday.

With new resolve, I stood up and starting putting some of my things in my bag. "What are you doing?" Gabriella asked, watching me with a furrowed brow. Zipping up the bag and grabbing my keys to my bike, I headed for the door.

"I'm going to get my girl," I said pausing briefly in doorway to look at Gabriella who had stood up. She smiled and gave me a quick hug.

"Good luck," she said before pulling back to look up at me. I gave her a small smile and nodded my head. I needed luck. I turned and walked from the office and through the empty gym. Once outside, the sky was ominously dark as clouds threatened to open into a downpour at any minute. I walked briskly to my motorcycle, strapping my bag to the back and kick-starting the engine. I hoped by the end of the night, I would have my girl. I swallowed the lump in my throat and took off, turning my bike in the direction of Kara's house.