Love Until It Hurts (Monteverde Series 4)

31

Chapter Thirty One

She was sitting there, staring at the wall. She didn't blink, didn't move, didn't speak. She just stared and stared and stared some more.

            My heart was in terrible pain while I looked at her. She was so scared, so confused, so broken. And I should be hugging her right now, telling her everything would be okay eventually, but instead I am sitting here on the other side of the room while watching her intently. I should be kissing her anxieties away, but I don't know if I can do that when I'm also scared, confused and broken.

            Nasa Ilocos na kami. Finally, we're back here. Kahit papaano ay naramdaman ko namang nabawasan ang bigat sa dibdib ko.

            Because I am with the person I love in the place where love found us again.

            Dito kami muna sa hotel tumuloy. Jen would be shocked to see her best friend.

            Kanina ay inihayag niya sa akin ang lahat ng nangyari sa kaniya sa loob ng dalawang taon. I wanted to break something while listening to her speak. Gusto kong manakit ng tao, gusto kong pumatay. I have never felt the need to kill people, until I heard what she went through... Without me.

            I was fighting back a shitload of tears while Sam recounted her side of the story. Isinusumpa ko na gagawin kong miserable ang buhay ng William de Asis na iyon. Hindi ako titigil hangga't hindi niya hinahalikan ang paa ko. Hindi ako titigil hangga't may mukha pa siyang ihaharap sa tao. Hindi ako titigil hangga't hindi ko nakikita na naghihirap na siya.

            I will never ever stop until he begs for death himself. Because that is what he deserves.

            Naikuyom kong muli ang mga kamao ko at nagtagis na naman ang mga bagang ko nang maalala ko ang pangalan ng lalaking yon.

            Kahit papaano ay nagkapaliwanagan na kami ni Sam sa mga nangyari sa amin. She couldn't believe that I thought she was dead. Sinabi kong kaya ako naniwala ay dahil kinonfirm ng Aldeguer Med. Kapag medyo nakabawi na si Sam sa takot niya ay tsaka ko babalikan ang mga dapat balikan. Aalamin ko kung bakit positibo ang lumabas sa DNA, at malalagot sa akin ang may pakana nito.

            I am a man with a gentle nature, but do me dirty and you will perish.

            "Sam," sinambit ko ang pangalan niya nang hindi ko na matiis pa ang katahimikan. Nakita ko ang pagkurap ng mga mata niya bago siya lumingon sa akin ng dahan-dahan. Matagal niya lang akong tinitigan. Matagal kaming naghahanap sa mata ng isa't isa.

            She was transparent and translucent at the same time. She was two different things at once. She was a puzzle and I wanted to decrypt her, so bad. So bad that I'm aching in all the right places. So bad that I want to hold her close to me and bury my face on the noose of her neck. I never knew how much I craved for her presence.

            I didn't miss her. I yearned for her. I was a molecule ready to combust and she was the catalyst. I took a deep breath. I can't hold it in anymore. I can't just sit here anymore. I can't. I just can't. I need to talk to her, to hear her voice, to touch her skin, to hold her so close. I need to tell her I love her and that those two years without her was like experiencing the end of the world. Every single feeling inside me was at war.

            I closed my eyes.

            And opened them again.

            Because I have to see her face and convince myself that this is real, that she is real, that this moment is real.