Chapter Twenty-Seven:Not All Boys Are Giant Douche Sickles

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Dedicated to someone who is probably the best writer on Wattpad. Umm hello Blake Eaton? DarknessandLight, you just made my life by reading my story and commenting. Dear God, I must be doing something right then. WOOT WOOT.

 Chapter Twenty-Seven:Not All Boys Are Giant Douche Sickles

 "Hey"

I look up from my phone to find a familiar head of blonde hair heading in my direction. Quickly chasing away the nervousness that always now seems to surround me whenever I see him, I put a small smile on my face.

He is my boyfriend's step brother after all, if nothing else.

"Hi Jay, what are you still doing here?"

He takes a seat next to me on the school steps. I'm waiting for Cole to come out since his class is taking a test. I know that I don't exactly need Cole's permission to talk to Jay but whenever I do talk to him; things just tend to get a little dramatic. It's been a while though since anything's happened and he's kept his distance. I just hope he understands the kind of situation I'm in these days and respects that.

"Practice ran late. I saw Cole's car and thought you guys would be around too."

He's telling the truth, I'm relieved that he hasn't started stalking. His hair's still wet from the shower and the smell of deodorant is still quite strong, like he'd just sprayed himself.

"Yeah, Mr. Vaughn just gave them a two hour test. It's brutal." I shudder, thinking of the algebraic torture device I'd taken in my junior year. My poor Cole will need a whole lot of RnR to recuperate from the trauma he's going through right now.

"Ah, the algebra one right? God I can still remember how I felt after that, like my brain just got hotwired."

I laugh, remembering that we'd taken the class together. It's nice to have a civil conversation with him, one which doesn't end in a fight. We were friends at some point, when I wasn't crushing on him and he wasn't taking advantage of that.

Bitter memories.

"So how's Beth? I-I came to the funeral to pay my respects but she didn't seem like..."

I gulp and concentrate on the screen of my phone, twiddling my thumbs unnecessarily. It's still too soon to talk about it, too painful. Marie's been gone for just one week and in that week I've seen Beth break down a million times. It's heartbreaking to see my strong, determined best friend crumble like this. She's not just grieving; she's also blaming herself for her mom's death. All she does is think about the 'What Ifs'. What if she'd been home? What if she'd gotten Marie the help she needed? What if she'd hidden the booze in a better place? What if she'd taken the key to the car with her when leaving? There's no consoling her. No amount of time spent making her understand is able to pull her from the dark place she's in. I feel so helpless and it's killing me.

"She's...she's going to be fine. She will be, I mean with time."

He nods as if understanding the underlying meaning. Beth lost a parent, the only parent she had. You can't possibly guess what amount of time will make the pain go away.

"Well I'm sure she will be. She's got you and you're the best kind of friend there is. I was an idiot but I'm sure people are smarter."

There it is. He's just made this conversation really, really uncomfortable. Why does he do this? Just when I think that I've put the Jay history exactly where it belongs-in the past he pops up again like a freaking jack in the box. We've been doing so well lately, ignoring each other and that's been perfect for me. Yes, I saw him at the funeral and gave him a place to sit but that was just a courtesy. Did he see that for me than it was actually worth?

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