The one in vain

19. Closing time

Calen stayed in bed. It was already eleven am in the morning and yet he was still on his bed trying to go back to sleep. He sighed. Mukhang hindi na siya makakatulog. Ayaw pa sana niyang harapin angr eyalidad ng buhay sa ngayon, all he wanted to do was sleep and rest his mind. Ayaw niyang mag-isip. It is only when he was asleep that he forgets his problems.

He sighed. He stood up and sat on the edge, if only this was easy, he’ll feel better if this is easy pero hindi. Kahit saang anggulo niya tingnan ay may masasaktan at iyon ang pinakaayaw niyang mangyari.

Hindi niya gustong masaktan ang kahit na sino sa dalawang babaeng mahal niya. Pero alam naman niya na kailangan na niyang magdesisyon – up until now he doesn’t know the answer to everyone’s question.

He didn’t want to hurt Jin Hye – pero sa nangyayari ngayon – nasasaktan na niya ito. Ni minsan sa buhay niya ay hindi niya naisip na darating ang panahon na paiiyakin at masasaktan niya ang prinsesa niya. He promised to love her and he really wanted to fulfill his promise to her – hindi naman niya itinatanggi sa sarili niya na mahal niya si Jin Hye – he was still in love with her – Jin Hye have taught him so many things – she had taught him how to be patient, to be responsible – and most importantly – Jin Hye was his first love. Alam niyang sinisisi ni Jin Hye ang sarili nito kaya sila nasa sitwasyong iyon – pero hindi naman nito kasalanan iyon – even he knows that. Jin Hye didn’t mean to forget him, Jin Hye loved him even when she didn’t know about him. Kung nasaktan man siya nito ay hindi sinadya ni Jin Hye iyon – kung nasasaktan man siya ngayon ay hindi rin kagustuhan ni Jin Hye iyon. Jin Hye only wanted to give him happiness – happiness which made him the man he is today.

Iyon ang Cinderella niya.

While Harmony – she came in to the darkest moment of his life. She brought back the color and the happiness he lost when he lost his princess. Harmony made him a man again. Harmony made him feel the things he thought he had forgotten. Harmony brought him back and maybe that was the reason why he fell in love with her.

He’s in love with Harmony but he loves Jin Hye too.

Napahawak siya sa kanyang ulo.

Ano bang dapat niyang gawin? Ayaw man niyang magdesisyon pero alam niyang kailangan na.

He had to make up his mind for the suffering to stop. Alam niyang hindi lang siya ang nahihirapan, alam niyang lahat ng tao sa paligid niya ay apektado na. What would he do?

Tumayo siya. He needed to clear his head. He took a bath, get dressed and left the house. Hindi niya sinabi kahit kanino kung saan siya pupunta. Kailangan lang niyang linawin ang lahat. Kailangan lang niyang maramdaman ang mga bagay na akala niyang hindi na mahalaga.

He needed to go back to that day…

Just for once.

---------------------

“Bigyan ng jacket!”

Natatawang tinitingnan ni Harmony ang mga kapatid niya. Nagsisimula na siyang mag-empake para sa pag-alis niya. Rhythm ang Melody were fooling around inside her room while putting her clothes inside her luggage. Ang Daddy naman niya ay inilalagay na sa kahon ang mga bagay na dadalhin niya sa Arizona habang ang Mama niya ay nakaupo sa isang tabi at tahimik na nagtutupi ng damit niya. She was crying.

Ilang beses na niyang sinabi dito na wag na itong umiyak na kailangan nitong maging masaya sa kanya dahil abot kamay na niya ang isa pa niyang pangarap. Tinapat naman niya ang Mama niya, sinabi niya na hindi na ang pagiging scientist ang naiisip niya sa tuwing tinatanong kung anong pangarap niya. Her dream was being with the man who completed her life – iyon ang gusto niya – pero sa ngayon, ma sabot kamay niya ang pangrapa niyang maging kilalang scientist kaysa ang makasama si Calen.