Until Forever

Chapter Fourteen

Finn leaves and I stick a finger underneath the glue of the envelope seal and tear it away gently. It's a short letter, but as Finn promised, the pages are filled with his dreams, my dreams and promises to keep them both.

As I read, tears burn behind my eyes only to be pushed out by the anger I feel toward my father. Because of him, I thought Finn abandoned me. How could my own father do this to me? How could he be so unkind? He knew how much I loved Finn, how much I needed him and how devastating it was to leave him behind.

I use the back of my hand to swipe at mad tears and try to focus hard on Finn's words.

Delany,

God I miss you. I've wished upon a million different stars that I could find you, I've had a million different daydreams of what I'll do when I see you again and they always have one thing in common. I'll never let you go.

I drive by your house sometimes and look up at your window hoping to catch a glimpse of what used to be, even though it's just a memory. Those memories are the only thing that keeps me going. I swear.

Nothing is the same without you. I am not the same without you. And I know that you feel it too. My future is unwritten but you are certain.

Your father, your parents can try all they want to keep me away from you but it will do them no good. It will only hurt you the same way it kills me inside. But every day that passes, I feel stronger and better, like rising above the adversity caused by all of this is inevitable.

There are some things I need to say to you...things that could change everything.  

But nothing will ever change what I feel.

Until Forever,

Finn

I want him back this very second. I want to kiss him and ask him to hold me, to do like he promised and never let me go. I have no idea what it is Finn thinks his sin is--what he thinks he's done, but none of it matters anymore. Nothing matters except for right now.

My hands begin to shake so badly, that I can no longer focus properly on the letter, even though I could read it a thousand more times, so I set it down and rise to my feet in attempt to gain some equilibrium.

I walk around his apartment like an old person in a museum. The walls are eerily empty but on one of the end tables, a single photograph is set inside a black frame. I squint to get a closer look.

It's Finn and I about a year after we got together. In it, he is seated on the floor while I am settled comfortable in the space between his outstretched legs. His arms are wrapped around my body and his hands rest directly over mine which are pressed to the frets of his guitar. My eyes are fixed on our fingertips and his are fixed on me. I'd forgotten this picture even existed. My heart skips at the memory and I'm about to pick it up to get a closer look when there is a knock at the door.

I freeze. Doesn't he have a buzzer system in effect? It's an apartment building.

I head to the door and to be safe--peer out the peephole. There's a girl standing outside with a black duffel bag in her hand and an impatient look on her face. I don't think she's going to rob or maul me with a duffel bag so I swing the door open with discretion.

As soon as the barrier between us is gone her eyes scan from the top of my head to the tip of my toes and back up again. I do the same.

She's taller than me but not by much. Her hair is jet black and hangs well past her shoulders in loose, shiny waves. Her eyes are the shape of almonds and the color of toasted marshmallows and her skin is flawless. I wrap my arms around my middle and offer an icy smile.