My Horrible Ex-Husband

Chapter Sixteen: A Most Horrible Feeling

“Caleb,” Eli said wrapping his arms around my waist. He kissed me on the neck as he dropped a box onto the counter. He nodded for me to open it. I gripped it in my hand, and pulled the lid off of it to see a brand new watch.

“Oh this is nice,” I grinned. “I love it. What’s the occasion?”

“No occasion,” Eli replied casually. “It’s just a gift to show my love for my boyfriend.”

“Thanks Eli,” I said sliding it onto my wrist. “I love it.”

I could get used to this. Gifts, sincerity, kindness, no arguments – Eli and I had reached a turning point in our relationship thanks to therapy. We hardly ever argued anymore and were actually getting along, for the most part. Everything was going just as good as when we first started dating each other seventeen years ago. I was actually happy to say that Eli was officially my boyfriend. He’s no longer that terrible ex-husband of mine who I despised with a passion.

Eli was once again the love of my life, my everything, my boyfriend, my other half and whatever other cheesy names there are for your boyfriend. Eli and I were in love and nothing could change that.

“Eli!” I shouted stomping down the stairs of my house on a war path. “Eli! Where are you?”

I clutched the envelope in my hand, as I flew into the living room, where his eyes were glued to the TV. His eyes flickered to mine, as I stepped in front of the TV screen, blocking whatever mindless reality show he was watching.

“Caleb? Hey! I’m watching the Kardashians,” Eli argued as I flicked the TV off. I threw the envelope at him angrily, narrowing my eyes at him. He picked it up, glancing at it, biting his lower lip a little.

“Explain Eli,” I growled as he ran his fingers through his hair.

“Explain what? The insurance money for the house came in,” Eli shrugged. “What else is there to say?”

“It came in three weeks ago Eli,” I argued. “Why didn’t you say anything? Why didn’t you tell me?”

“Because – Because I don’t want to,” Eli began shifting around his seats. I stared at him, awaiting his response. He didn’t want to what? Spit it out already.

“I don’t want to leave,” Eli finished. “I don’t want to move out the house with Michelle. She likes it here. I like it here. I just wanted to see where our relationship was going before I made any decisions, so I held out on the check.”

“You want to stay here with me and Michael?” I asked. Eli nodded, as I sat down beside him on the couch. That was a huge step for our relationship. Eli wanted to live here permanently. That meant he wanted me back for good. This was serious – almost as serious as the first time he asked me to move in with him when we were dating.

“Caleb,” Eli said raising an eyebrow. “What do you think? How do you feel about that?”

I sighed. “You have to do your own laundry. There are no negotiations for that, ok?”

“Right,” Eli grinned wrapping his arms around my shoulder. “I love you Caleb.”

“Yeah Yeah Yeah,” I huffed as he brushed his lips against my neck.

“How about an ‘I love you too Eli’?” he coughed jokingly. I shoved him as I stood up, walking back towards the kitchen. I love you too. Ha. He should know better by now that I wasn’t that sappy. It would take a long time before I used the big L word again.

Love was such a strong word. Like? Yes. But love? It would just get straight to his head if I used such a word. He would think he could get away with murder if I said that. I didn’t want to give him such ideas.

“Caleb,” Eli sang out to me. “I love you. I love you. I love you.”

“I don’t want to hear it,” I huffed covering my ears.

“I’ll keep saying it until you say it back,” he laughed. “Tell me you love me.”

“I tolerate you, remember?” I smirked as he wrapped his arms around my waist. “I don’t use the L word. That word is for saps.”

“I must be a sap then,” he winked. “Because I’m deeply and irrevocably in love with you.”

“Yuck,” I scoffed. “I think I might throw up. Stop saying such things.”

“Whatever,” Eli growled. “It doesn’t matter because just the other day when we had sex, you told me that you loved me.”

“That was in the heat of the moment,” I rolled my eyes as Eli bit his lip.

“You’re such a jerk sometimes,” Eli huffed grabbing my chin in his and placing a kiss on my lips. I reciprocated, our mouths fitting perfectly together. Eli pushed me against the counter, locking me into the corner, so I wouldn’t move, as we made out. He broke the kiss quickly, a grin forming across his face.

“Keep kissing me like and I’ll never leave you,” Eli commented ruffling my hair a bit.

“Don’t make promises you can’t keep,” I retorted folding my arms across my chest. Eli sucked his teeth, walking out of the room as soon as I said that. That was obviously a sore subject for Eli. It was a topic that we had seemed to skirt around during therapy – the reason he and I divorced in the first place. I was surprised he and I hadn’t discussed it earlier. The only way to repair the damage was to acknowledge that there was a problem in the first place, or else we’d just be repeating the same mistakes all over again.

That night, before Eli and I went to bed, I brought it up. I mean we didn’t need to pay someone for us to have a civilized conversation about our marriage. We could be adults and work it out . . .

“I don’t want to talk about it,” Eli growled flipping through the channels of my HDTV.

“Eli, we have to talk about eventually,” I said grabbing the remote from his hand and flicking the TV off. “We might as well get our feelings out now especially since we’re trying to start over again. I mean you told me that you loved me earlier and we’re living together again. I just – I just don’t want to make the same mistakes.”

“Fine,” Eli huffed. “Fine – Fine.”

“Let’s talk about why we divorced in the first place,” I started. “Why do you think we split up?”

“I don’t know Caleb,” Eli said running his fingers through his hair. “I got busy. You got busy. We stopped talking. We argued more. We stopped having sex. Things used to be simple and then all of sudden everything was complicated.”

“I know exactly what you mean,” I sighed. “Remember Michelle’s second birthday? That’s when everything really went bad.”

“Oh yeah,” Eli nodded. “Shit. How could I forget Michelle’s second birthday? You were so mad. You almost ran me down with the car.”

“But actually,” I laughed.

“It’s not funny,” he smirked. “I feared for my life.”

I chuckled as Eli grinned at me. I was glad we were working through this. I was happy he and I were talking about this. Maybe therapy had been a good idea after all. We should have tried that before we gotten divorced but we had both been too stubborn to even consider the idea.

“Eli,” I began. His eyes flickered onto mine for a moment.

“Yes.”

“I love you."