Alright, so this is it, the epilogue. I can’t believe this story is finally coming to an end… it’s crazy…
PLEASE, read until the end, however mad you are or whatever. Trust me, you’ll be MUCH happier if you read till the end, okay?
Also, please read the author note at the end that explains what to expect next for spin-off and sequels alright? Because I won’t be answering questions about it in the future. The answers are there.
Oh and also, sorry for making you guys wait that long, I didn’t mean to but because of Irene, well electricity was dead (I uploaded chapter 87 at my moms, yes I actually went to my mother to upload this chapter for you guys, how pathetic? ;P) and when it finally came back at my house, internet was dead so ya… I was supposed to put the epilogue up sooner… it’s all stinking Irene’s fault! 0_0
Now, you can enjoy! :D
I’ve been waiting a while to finally post this one! lol
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I could feel the sun, streaming through the French doors, warming my cheek. But I kept my eyes close, not wanting to get out of bed just yet.
I rolled around on the bed, my hand reaching beside me but they fell on empty sheets.
Of course they did…
I rolled again and held the blankets tightly, trying to find sleep but unable to because of the damn sun.
So instead I sat in the middle of the bed, holding my head in my hands.
I sighed heavily and then turned my head in my palms, my eyes falling on the letter lying on my drawing desk.
I got up from my bed and took it and then cradled back in my sheets and read it again, for about the hundredth time…
If you’re reading this, well it really sucks to say the least… I know I promised you I wouldn’t die, but I guess I can’t control everything, can I? And I know it’s creepy and why did I wrote you this letter if I told you I wasn’t going to die, did I lie to you, how the hell did I know I’d die… (you’re already over thinking by now, I know it Pumpkin) well I guess after you lose someone so fast, like I did with Jay, you become aware of things like that… and ever since, I write letters, will if you will…
And well, with my head condition, I guess I always have to be ready for the worse. And I’m not going to lie, it scares me. I know I don’t talk about it with you that much but it’s because I’m scared that if I said it out loud it’ll happen, if I ignore it, if I don’t put it out there it’s like it doesn’t exist you know?
But hey, for all I know I might have been crushed by a concrete wall, so no point in worrying right?
So as I said, I write these letters… but this is the hardest one I ever had to write, because what if I do die?
I’m not scared for me; honestly not at all, death never scared me. I’m just scared for you. I think it’s safe to say you love me Pumpkin. And I know what death does to the ones that stay…
So please, don’t destroy yourself over this. Everyone dies at one point. I guess my time had come, that’s all.
I just want you to remember that I love you more than anything. I always had, I always will, what ever happens afterwards, if there was anyway I could be with you I would be, you can trust me on that.
I waited too long to finally have you.
Trust me, if there was a way, I’d be with you right now…
Wouldn’t it be cool if I came back as a ghost? I mean you gotta admit it Pumpkin, that’d be awesome! Tell Josh if I am, he’ll believe you!
I’ll come for you! I promise.
Look at the stars, go swim in the Creek, sleep in my bed, our bed, read my books, I’m there… I’m everywhere…
And I love you.
No one’s ever made me as happy as you…
I don’t know if I’ve told you this by now, honestly Pumpkin, I feel like you’re my reason for everything. You’re the reason why I wasn’t the one in that car, why I didn’t die instead of Jay. For years I’ve wished for things to switch, to have been the one dying instead of him, because people needed him more than they needed me, loved him more than they loved me. Even with my head, I was doomed from the start. And if it hadn’t been for the accident I’d probably have died sooner. But luckily, because of you they found it. And because of you I stayed alive. And now I’ve had you… Because of you Pumpkin I stopped feeling this way. Maybe it was selfish of me, but I knew I made you happier, made you forget about your problems… and for that, because being with you made you happy again, that was a good reason enough to be alive, and not have died in the car. Because my Lexi needed someone to make her laugh, and for some strange twisted reason I did…