When I Can't Do Anything Else

Demorsìa

Demorsìa ('de-mor-sē-ə)

Having the idea of ending beautifully. The thought of possibility that someone or something can finish the start to the end with grandness, and/or an artistic bow that requires a silent, unpopulated standing ovation through the crowd.

Imagine a rose as it withers; close to death, and nearing to its finality. Nobody ever notices a dead, dull rose dying, but you can. You can see its pale red petals falling off, one by one, as if it was dancing its way to death. A dance in the wind, a rhythm only you and the rose could hear. You see the rose's stem tilt downward, like the ground was pulling it under harshly by its roots. Nobody ever realizes there was even a dying plantlife over there, but you can. You see the rose thanking the soil, lowering itself to give the land a kiss for its ephemeral beauty. Nobody ever sees a rose laying lifeless on the ground, camouflaged by death, but you can. You see the rose, gray and deflated, no more crisp and bright by the essence of life. You see it laying in a pose, petals scattered in a symbol, a display of beauty so dynamic that you can remember the former days of its life. You see it, and the memories come rolling in, folding into an idea of beauty that one cannot fathom.

A beauty where the end was having a tragedy of not being too tragic.

A beauty where the end was the accumulation of everything at once, spreading your eyes with vividness a normal person couldn't comprehend. A beauty in the end.

There are many examples, such as: the beautiful ending of a cloud; how they form so many images in the sky, and leaves you in the blink of an eye; the beautiful ending of eating a sumptuous meal, where you eat with a golden fork and spoon, and the plate is your canvas - and you as the painter; the beautiful ending of a table - through generations, why can't a table erode or be destroyed by time with a slight sprinkle of beauty? Why can't it fall off in columns, by segments, to create beautiful imagery? Why can't the death of an inanimate object create a flower coincidentally assembled on the floor with its remains?

//k.u.

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Note: There was this one time a person asked me in chat, asking me: "If you were to make a word for yourself, what would it be?" or something in the likes. Then, I made this! Does anybody of you know about the Dictionary of Obscure Sorrows? I am completely and utterly mesmerized by that book. A compendium of words made from scratch, words that describe a certain feeling most people wouldn't be able to define, words people wouldn't bother to look up or try to express. That dictionary inspired me to write this piece! I suggest that you search for that right at this moment!