Shelter Dog (Cashby)

Chapter 9

Alan's PoV
I stared at Austin, who was breaking down on my couch. I remembered my thoughts on Gielle, and it made sense that she was beginning to make Austin feel this way. I was just glad that he was able to identify the feeling and make his own choice as far as getting out of it was concerned.

He was just collapsing on himself, his shoulders heaving and cheat locking up as he continued to cry. I felt my own tears burn in my throat as I watched. Although he hurt me, I wasn't afraid or ashamed to admit that he had probably been hurting more. Although that didn't make it okay, I just couldn't convince myself to remain bitter or upset. That wasn't going to get either of us anywhere.

So instead of speaking, I just scooted over and leaned onto Austin. My head was laying on his shoulder and I wrapped my arm around his waist.

"I forgive you" I said again. "It doesn't make it okay, but I forgive you" I said quietly. "You don't deserve any of that, you know that, right?" I asked a moment later. He just cried a bit harder, but I continued to lean against him because I didn't know what else to do besides that.

He cried for at least ten minutes before he was calm enough to talk, and even then he still stuttered due to his choppy breathing.

"Alan, m-maybe I do d-deserve i-it" he said, looking at me with his streaked, splotchy face and red eyes.

"Don't you dare say that" I said firmly, repositioning myself so that I was facing him. I sat criss cross, my knees resting on his left leg and against his waist. "You're a good person," I told him. "you just make mistakes sometimes. We all do, and we have to live with those" I reminded him.

He wiped his eyes again, pressing the heels of his hands against them and sniffling against his arm.

"Thank y-you A-Alan" he choked out. He was taking deep breaths trying to calm down so he could talk properly, and it was a long process but he eventually worked it out. "I'm sorry I woke you up" he finally broke the silence between us.

"I was up" I smiled. "Now, come here you need some coffee or something hot, you're all stopped up now and you look like death himself" I teased him as I stood. He pulled himself to his feet and followed me into the kitchen.

"That actually sounds pretty great" he murmured.

"Yeah, doesn't it? I would offer hot chocolate. But it's summer. I have like, chicken broth and coffee." I said sheepishly.

"Chicken broth?" He chuckled.

"It's actually really good" I defended. "Mainly in the winter though" I shrugged.

"I'll take coffee. Black. No creamer, and three packs of sugar" he requested. "Or I can do it myself if you show me where everything is" he added quickly.

"I'll fix it, shut up" I laughed at him. When I turned, I bumped right into him, and his eyes widened as he began to speak but I just hugged him. I had been wanting to since we got up, anyways.

He hesitated for a moment before he hugged me back, but when he did, it was such a safe embrace I didn't ever want him to let me go. He buried his head on my shoulder and just hugged me, and I just couldn't explain it. I really loved this hug.

"I really just wanted to do that" I told him as we separated.

"It was totally okay with me" he smiled. "I kinda needed it too, so..." he trailed off.

"Yeah, I guess we kinda both did. Now back to that coffee" I said, changing the subject.

"I'll make it" he offered

"No," I insisted "you just hang out right there." and Austin held his hands up in surrender.

"Alright, alright" he agreed begrudgingly. "But I'm going to hang over your shoulder the entire time" he grinned.

"Deal" I smiled back.

"So, uhm, thank you for still listening to me although I truly don't deserve your time at the moment" Austin said softly. I knew he was going to say something along those lines, but I didn't expect it so soon. "I'm really glad that you're such a kind person, and that I happened to meet you. At first you were an ass, but you apologized and quickly became a friend, and a good one at that. When I talked to you, you actually seemed interested. When you gave advice, you seemed genuinely interested in my well being. You were just a very genuine person and I appreciate that although I haven't shown it lately." he spoke again.

I felt my heart flutter at his words, but I didn't know how to reply. Our dispute wasn't a large one, so I had gotten over it quickly, but Austin was still worrying about it.

"It's okay" I told him. "You're a good person too" I insisted as I handed him his mug.

"But Alan I'm-" he began, but I cut him off.

"Austin, quit" I snapped. "When I say you're fine, you're fine. I forgive you. It wasn't a big deal" I told him.

He cast his eyes downward and grew quiet as I cleaned up. We ended up back on the couch and I was watching whatever TV show happened to be on this channel at the time. I didn't recognize it, though.

Austins phone began ringing, and he finally answered it, but I could tell he didn't want to.

"Hello?" he said quietly. "Walking. No. Like ten minutes. I guess. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I didn't know. I'm sorry." he answered periodically. His eyes were glistening again but he wasn't going to let them fall this time. I didn't let him see that I was looking at him. I would glance up without actually moving my head, not trying to make him uncomfortable, but wanting to make sure he was okay.

He wasn't okay. I knew that. But I didn't know what else to do other than stand idly by while he fought whatever inner battle he was truly fighting. I wanted him away from Gielle more than anything, I did. My heart ached for him. I longed for him to be happy in a way I hadn't longed for anybody to be in a very long time. I just wasn't sure why.

Austin got up suddenly, wiping his eyes quickly. I could see the slight shake in his hands as he slipped his phone in his pocket and picked up his now empty mug.

"Thank you" he said almost inaudibly. He spoke with such hesitancy that I wanted to yell at him. I wanted to shout because he was making me feel things that I didn't want to feel. Guilt being the main one. I felt the volume building in my chest, willing to burst from my throat at any moment, yet I stifled it at the last second as he opened the door. Instead of a yell, something totally different arrived.

"You can stay here for a while." I blurted out. I couldn't believe I had said it, but I had meant it. Gielle wasn't good for him. Austin was a very strong and independent person, and he had a sense of arrogance about him in some cases, but he didn't deserve to feel the way he did regardless of that.

"I can't leave Echo" he said sadly.

"Bring her with you" I said quickly in an attempt to make him stay.

"Alan, I just don't want to wear out my welcome" he said in a downtrodden manner.

"You could have come here, told me everything, and spit in my face afterwards and I'd still be asking you to stay." I exaggerated

He looked away before letting his shoulders sag.

"Just go 'home' and get your important things in case she doesn't take it well, and break up with her." I urged him.

"It's not that easy!" he exclaimed in distress. "I love her Alan!" and the words hit me like stones.

"Aus, the way she's making you feel isn't right. Please don't get sucked so deep into it" I begged him. He bit his lip and looked away, tensing up and trying not to lose it again.

"I just-" he began but cut off with a deep breath. I stepped forward, my hand gently touching his arm in a comforting way.

"I know. Just please keep in mind what is best for you. There are plenty of fish in the sea." I said softly. "Don't let her do this"  and I hugged him again, burying my head against his warm, firm chest.

As we pulled away and I met his gaze, I knew what was happening, and the. As the words I longed to hear left his lips, it finally registered. I was caught up in a case of the feels.

"I'll be back" and I let the door close behind him.