Waking up in the morning is ALWAYS a struggle. I regret it every day. I hate being here all together.
My life went downhill in year 5.. I started to get bullied for my weight.. I hated it.. year 6 I went down.. self harm not eating as much as I normally did. Just little things. I met a girl and she had bad depression. Her depression rubbed off on me and I self harmed more and cried myself to sleep each night... year 7 was alright but I would get out of bed on a week end at like 12 because I didn't see a point in getting up quickly all.
Near the last days or the year it went shit....
I went on a holiday just for a week and it's silly now I think about it.. I lost all 5 of my friends because they moved my seat and one was being bitchy too me... we became friends-ish then she told me she liked my crush and shit went down. I remember one day that I felt like shit I walked up to my teacher and he looked at me weirdly.. I said "can I go sit in the laptop caddy room?" He nodded his head.. He never let people in there just like that but he let me... In there I bawled my eyes out then about 30 minutes after walked into the room happy.. The teacher knew I was upset but didn't say anything.. I think what made him say yes to me was I was on suicide watch and the school basically let me do whatever.. If I wanted to shoot hoops they let me... If I wanted to go to a little kids class I could.. then there was one day where I just broke..
I walked in class and everyone screamed 'eeww' I thought yep.. I'm gone.. I walked back out and into the other teachers class I told her and I ended up in the office where I told this one teacher EVERYTHING well... almost... I told her what the others have been doing and I told her that this boy had been harassing me and picking on me.. I moved classes but just for that day.. I went back the next day and our regular teacher was back. He sat me down which he didn't really do (now this teacher we had a constant war. Meeting with my parents because I was testing him) he sat down and asked me what was going on I didn't say a word he then said a few words I will never forget he said 'kayleah... you are extremely good at hiding things. You should of told us earlier' he looked at me and that was the first time I actually felt bad for him...
The few days after we're horrible so I set myself a date... The 18th of November 2015... I picked that date at random and I was gonna leave that day.. but I went to high school had no problem but one and my mum found out I self harmed... I got put on the first part of the suicide watch... I then found hope... I then stayed here because my boyfriend just before my suicide date he basically saved me... now when I look back I am thankful for not leaving any of them times I wanted to die..I am so darn thankful to have everyone I do to this day... I love you guys especially 3 of you.
