Confessions of a Teenage Caffeine Addict

41 // Okay

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I'm starting a new book! It's called "The Dating Class," so go to my profile and give the first part a read if you need to cope with this book ending soon (loudly sobs).

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For all the things my hands have held.

The best by far is you

—Andrew McMahon

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KATIE

MARCH

I woke up to someone ringing the doorbell at regular intervals. I rolled over hoping I was just imagining it and that the sound would fade, but somehow it only grew louder. My elbow grazed my phone, causing the screen to light up. 3:41am. I yawned and got out of bed, throwing on a sweatshirt before making my way towards the stairs. My dad was already half-way down the steps. I waited to see who it was as he turned the hall light on. Dad opened the door wide enough for me to catch a glimpse of my mother. I hadn't seen her since she showed up at work a month ago. He didn't say anything, just looked a her standing there in the snow and cold, shivering. She had on nothing but a t-shirt, which was torn near the neckline. It was much too big for her, the wind threatening to blow it away.

"I need help," she said, putting her hand against the doorframe. I leaned forward a bit, getting a better look at her. Her hair was matted to her face, and even though it was all of fifteen degrees outside and snowing, she was sweating. "I keep trying to do this on my own, but I can't do it anymore, Michael." She shook her head. "I need help," she repeated.

"Rehab," he stated like it wasn't an option.

"Put me wherever. I don't care, just get me out of this life." She shook her head. "I've lost everything I ever cared about all because of alcohol. I drank you out of my life and now I've done the same to Kate. I can't lose her forever." She slumped against the doorframe before letting out a sob. "I can't lose her too," she collapsed to the ground. I imagined the icy chill of the stone steps were nothing compared to the loneliness she felt.

I carefully made my way down the stairs. "Mom?" I said.

"She looked up, squinting through her tears. "K-Kate?" she reached out towards me.

Dad whipped around to look back at me, like he couldn't believe I was awake right now, let alone downstairs with him. I knew he wanted to tell me to go back to sleep so badly, but he held his tongue. Instead, he put his hand on my back, giving me a little bit of comfort, letting me know he was there.

"Hi, Mom," I bent down to her level. She reached out for me and I let her take my hand.

"I want you back in my life, honey," she sobbed. "I'm sorry for not being a better mother. I'm sorry," she said, sputtering.

"How can I help you?" I asked.

"Put me in a place. Get me sober," she said.

"You have to be the one who wants to get sober."

"I do," she sighed. "Oh, Kate, I do. I really do." Mom squeezed my hands. "Please," she said. "I'll do anything. I'll get clean, I'll get a job, an apartment far away from the liquor stores and bars," she spoke quickly, like she was afraid I would deny her help or wouldn't believe her. "I'll go to daily meetings. I can't lose you again. I can't."

"Okay," I whispered. I looked up at Dad and he nodded before pulling out his phone, no doubt to look up rehab facilities. "Okay, Mom," I said a little more sure of myself before I ushered her inside.