The Bad Tour(ture): 2nd Edition

Chapter 23 - Heaven Knows I Love You Girl

I tried to deny the fact that I was in love with this girl. I didn't want to be in love. I just wanted to focus on my tour and my music.

But here I was, standing in the middle of her living room, compelled by these intense emotions I could no longer keep in the dark. I just wanted to be with her. Instead of pulling away, I wanted to claim her and let the world know she was mine and that she belonged to me and only me and to just stay away from her. Maybe then they would finally get it.

She sat down with me on her bed and explained everything. She didn't need to and I didn't want her to but she insisted. She didn't want me bringing up her past again. But I was blown away when she told me Darryl proposed to her.

We cried together, we laughed together, and we apologized and forgave. It was like our first breakup. It made us laugh because we knew we only wanted to be with each other.

I held her close to me as we rested on the bed together. "I want to tell the world."

"Tell the world what??" she asked laughing at me.

"That I'm in love with you."

"No."

She shot me down. "Why not?"

"Because I don't want to be known as Michael Jackson's girlfriend. I want to be known as Shakira."

"You will be."

"I know but...I just feel like I would be taking a risk if I let everyone know about us. We can be together but just..." She placed her finger over her lips and rolled over on my stomach. "At least until I make it number one."

I laughed and agreed. "Well then there will be rules," I said in a whisper, as we were closer now.

"Rules?"

"Yes. No holding hands in public, no whispering in my ear or winking your eye at me."

She laughed. "When have I ever winked my eye at you?"

I winked my eye at her and she just giggled.

"My lawd," she said shaking her head.

I couldn't stop laughing. She was mimicking me from the shows.

She rolled off of me and sat up on her knees. She pursed her lips out and leaned in to kiss me. "I missed you when you were gone so guess what I did?"

"Umm..." I kissed her lips. "Umm." I laughed and kissed her lips again. "I don't know."

She jumped on my lap, hurting me a little. "Ow."

"I read Moonwalker!" She sounded so excited, mispronouncing my title, and wrapping her arms around me.

I rolled my eyes as she started kissing my neck. "It's Moonwalk."

She looked at me and smiled. "What?"

"It's Moonwalk. You said Moonwalker."

"Are you sure?" She hopped off the bed and went searching for the book as if I didn't know the title of my own autobiography.

She stood by her closet and read back the title with the book in her hands. "Moonwalk. Hmm." She started walking towards me.

"What did you think?"

She sat on my lap and looked me in the eyes. "I think it's great."

I waited for her to say more but she just stared at me. "That's not really the feedback I was expecting."

"Well..." she opened the booked to the back and started reading. "Who were you thinking about when you were recording I Just Can't Stop Loving You?"

I sighed. I hated when people asked me questions like this. But she wasn't people. She was my...girlfriend. "Do I really have to answer that?"

"Yes."

"I think you can answer that yourself."

She took my answer and moved on. She started reading again, flipping through the pages.

"Out of everything in the book, that's all that concerns you?"

"Nothing concerns me." She was flipping back now, to the beginning of the book. "Well...something like this bothers me. I was messing around in the surf and all of a sudden I couldn't breathe. No air. Nothing. I asked myself what's wrong? I tried not to panic, but I ran back to the house to find Jermaine, who took me to the hospital. It was wild. A blood vessel had burst in my lung. It has never reoccurred, although I used to feel little pinches and jerks in there that were probably my imagination. I later learned that this condition was related to pleurisy. It was suggested by my doctor that I try to take things a little slower, but my schedule would not permit it. Hard work continued to be the name of the game."

I laughed because I didn't see what would concern her. That was a long time ago. "That wasn't recently silly."

"Duh. I know but you need to take better care of your health. You're a work-a-holic. If the doctor says slow down then slow down."

"Okay." I just had to agree with her. I wasn't expecting to convince of her anything.

"I understand you live and breathe this but you have to take better care of yourself. You don't eat, you're always dehydrated, and you work when you're supposed to rest."

"Okay, okay. I get it."

"I'm sorry." She gave me a kiss on the cheek. I guess she could read the frustration on my face.

"It's okay. You'll one day understand."

"But I'll never be able to fully know how it must feel." The way she was looking at me made me want to cry. "You've been under watch ever since you were small. You were just a baby. And I can't relate to that."

I broke our eye contact because I didn't feel like getting emotional. I just didn't feel like crying. "Can you change the subject?" I wrapped my arms around her and pulled her to my chest, making her laugh. "I want to remain happy."

"As long as we're together, we're fine. We-will-be-happy."