How To Love Again

3: Are You Following Me?

3: Are You Following Me?

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• Skyler •

It's been four weeks since Noah died and three weeks since the funeral. I haven't gone out of the house since or even bothered having anyone's company. Without Noah, life was just a dark, gray sky. I don't know how I'm going to live without him.

"Sweetheart?" My mother's voice wakens me the next morning as she gently knocked on the door. "Can I come in?"

I groan and pull the covers over my head, knowing she was going to come in either way.

"You can't live like this." She says the minute she's in and sitting on the edge of my bed. "You need to get out of the house. Get some fresh air. Hang with friends."

"I have no friends." I mutter, slightly pulling the cover down to reveal part of my face. "And I do get out of the house."

Mother frowns. "The porch doesn't count." She sighs. "I can't believe you're making me do this."

I raise a curious eyebrow, now sitting up on my bed. "Do what?"

"I'm kicking you out of the house." She states, not a single look of worry on her face.

I gape. "What? Mom, you can't kick me out! Without Noah..." I choke over the mention of his name. "I have nowhere to go."

My mother sighs again. "I'm only kicking you out for the day. You can come back tonight. I just want you to move on and stop letting..." She pauses. "Stop letting Noah get in the way of your life. You didn't die that night, Skyler."

A feel a tear start to escape but I blink it back. "A part of me did." I whisper, barely audible.

Mom gives me a sympathetic look and reaches over, placing her hand on my thigh. "Get dressed. I didn't cook breakfast so you can grab those ten dollars I keep on the table and go buy you something to eat."

I purse my lips. "Why can't I just stay in bed all day?"

"Because, for god's sake, you must get out of the house. I'm sick of seeing you lying and mourning around." She explains. "Find your life again."

I throw my legs over the bed and stumble over to my closet. "Honestly, Mom. I have no life to find. Noah took it with him."

• • •

I stared bluntly at the the ceiling of Stake N' Shake as I boringly stirred my straw around my Cookie Dough shake. A few people were lingering about the place, none of them seeming to acknowledge the sad-looking girl sitting by the window, her life slowly falling apart.

If Mom thought she was helping me by kicking me out of the house for the day, she was wrong. She was only making things worse. Just imagine how I feel everytime I see a couple who's madly in love walk past me... It shatters me to the very soul. It reminds me that I'll never get to see, feel, hear, touch, smell, or taste Noah ever again.

I take a sip of my Cookie Dough shake, trying to forget all the negative thoughts.

Maybe I should go walk around the town, get some fresh air and allow everything to slip from my mind.

Because the shake obviously wasn't helping.

I stood up, about to turn around and leave when I crash into one, the shake spilling down my shirt and dripping to the floor.

"Fuck!" I groan, not bothering to look at the person as I frown down at my shake-covered t-shirt. Oh great. Now I'm going to look like some crazy person walking down the street.