For the Love of all Things Random!

A Random Near Death Experience

Hello. Thank you for reading. This is more... random from anything I've written. I'd appreciate it if you vote --if you like it that is. :) Comment and Fan is also an option. Thanks..

How dare you read this! Walk away. Right now. You have no right! You little freak...

Okay, my brothers gone... PHEW! Gotta love to hate younger siblings.

Since he's gone, I'm going to introduce myself. While at the same time I'm going to totally evade the subject of whom or what my brother is... Shhhh! He may not be human. My parents are just in denial.

Okay lets start with the name, Random Jones. Nice name right? Pretty random if you ask me. My parents said they weren’t planning on a kid and it was a totally random coincidence. As if they didn't know what they were getting themselves into for 'loving' each other. At least that's how they put it... When a mommy and daddy love each other very much... BLAH BLAH BLAH.

Don't even ask what my brother’s name is... Okay I'll tell you, it's Cornelius. Ha! He thinks my names bad. My names random his is totally planned out.

Enough about him.

Okay, so you know the name now for the age. I'm fifteen. Birthday? September 3rd. Oh yeah. I'm going to be sixteen in a matter of weeks.

Cornelius is thirteen. Why do you always have to bring him in to this, Ugh!

Okay, so, today I nearly died! My best friend Kelly's little brother tried to shove a raison up my noise! The horror, a three year old, nearly killing me. But luckily I survived. It was nothing, although the fact that I could barely breathe after the travesty was unending.

Kelly kept yelling, "Stop being so random, all he did was throw a raison at your face."

And I was all, "A raison that nearly killed me!"

Who knows maybe she was in on it.

Oh for the love of all things random, Cornelius get out of here! Right now, before I tell Meg Stevenson you like her!

Okay, that got his attention he's gone.  Chances are she'll read this anyways. So, HA!

Back to my life shattering travesty. So, the baby started balling after I started yelling about him nearly ending my life.

And I was like, " Your the one that nearly killed me, I'm the one that should be crying!"

Of course, that only made him cry worse, What a baby...

Then Mrs. Donnors decided it was time for me to leave. When I asked her why, she just said, "Oh, we just got some random things that need to be done."

I don't know why but in that moment I pictured a dart board with a picture of me attached to it and the baby with the darts.

Before I could protest she had already walked me to the door and slammed it in my face.

I couldn't help but yell, "You could've just killed me, you know."

So, I just ended up walking home, we live like 10 blocks away. UGH!

**************

ME: "I'm home! Sorry it took me so long it's such a long walk. I can't wait to get a car."

Mom: "Honey, we live three houses down from the Donnors."

ME: "Did I tell you how Kelly's brother tried to kill me!"

MOM: "Random, you’re always accusing babies of killing you."

ME: "Mom, I'm serious, that baby is out to get me."

Mom: "You can be so random sometimes."

*************

LATER THAT DAY:

Kelly: "Johnny where are you"

Johnny: "In here!"

Kelly: "What did I say about playing with my dart board?"

Johnny: "Not to poke Random in the eye.”

********************

Okay I must be going crazy who in their right mind would expect a baby of being out to get them.

Oh, well. I'll call Kelly up later and we'll laugh it over.

It's not like she has anything against me. We're besties after all.

RANDOM! Mrs. Donnors was just on the phone she wants you to stop going over there uninvited!

Well there goees another friend. I'll go see what Christies doing tomorrow.

For the Love of all Things Random, I'm Random & raisons are not your friends!

Note from Author:

          -Raisons cannot kill you. Nor can a little baby. If anyone like Random live on your block I advise you to lock all of your windows and doors. Although this may be amusing she is a high threat to our society. Keep all kids in eye sight at all times.

Oh, for the love of all things random, just keep reading. ;)