How to be a Filipino l.h

christmas is near!

rule no. 13

prepare for christmas though shits are coming!

okay... okay... there is a typhoon in our region and we're so happy since there is a flood right now! moving on, luke is still here. He is currently helping us relocate our things to the second floor.

"how can you survive at this kind of environment?" luke asked

"i don't know. how can you survive living in australia?" i said

"my family is there?" 

"same reason"

2 days left before christmas and we're here stucked in a shitty situation. wait, ew. how could there be a poop on a flood? 

hours later... my auntie from the nearby city visited us and as always, she's a bitch

"oh look at this pitiful situation." i rolled my eyes. how dare she come here? she even have the guts to give us goodies. puta may ganyan kami

"tingnan mo naman yung pamangkin ko prostitute na ng kano " what the fuck? that doesn't mean i'm with luke(foreigner) i am already a prostitute. he is not even american

Now, it is luke's turn to be angry. 

"Mam... whatever your name is... this girl here isn't a prostitute for mine, okay? indeed, she is my girlfriend" luke said

"wait... girlfriend?" my dad interfered. "You are not allowed to have a boyfriend yet, mel"

oh shit. why does luke always say i am his girlfriend though it is not true. i wish it is.

"play along" luke mouthed to my dad

"Oh, oh- yeah. she is not a prostitute. Indeed, he a boyfriend of hers"
"true dat" my other cousin said

My mom laughed. Even my grandma. Yes! she went away, the bitch went away.

"okay who likes ham for christmas?" my dad asked loudly

and everyone raised their hands

-

puta may ganyan kami- the fuck? we have like that 

 tingnan mo naman yung pamangkin ko prostitute na ng kano- oh look at my little niece being a prostitute for an american