I'm Not What I Seem [COMPLETED]

Chapter 22

Clary POV

"What are you doing here Alec?" I ask as I try to hide the phone under my foot.

"I walk down here. Now do you wanna tell me why Mark Blackthorn just walked off a cliff, why you seem perfectly unfazed by that, and you crushed his phone?" he demands with a straight look on his face.

I cross my arms and look at him. "Look, if he was still alive, I would never be safe. Neither would Aline. He knew things about both of us that would ruin us. I did everyone a favor."

An incredulous look crosses his face. "By murdering him."

I shrug. "He walked off that cliff. The cops would see it as suicide. Especially after the text I sent to everyone from his phone." Alec is about to speak again when I continue. "Look, I did what I had to do. You're the only other person who knows what I did here. Now you know what I'm capable of. So, if you cross me or hold this against me, you'll be sorry."

I walk away, completely pissed off, and leave Alec there, completely shocked. I rush to the road where I get a taxi to take me back to my hotel so I can change into comfier clothes.

I sit in frustration before I get back to my hotel then rush as quick as I can to my suite. When I get in there I switch out my biker pants and plain camisole for leggings and a low cut gray v neck with long sleeves. I go into the bathroom to wash my face and open the cabinet with the face wash in it--or I thought it was that one anyway.

On the shelf, eye level to me, I see my razor sitting there. My fingers ache to reach out and slice my skin open. I almost do, but I turn away and exit to the main room.

Sitting down, I pull my locket off and open it, revealing a folded up piece of paper with writing all over it. I grab a pen as I unfold it and start to write in any free space I can. Over and over again it's the same phrases.

I can be strong. I will not brake. I will control this.

It's a thing a friend of mine in New Orleans taught me. Whenever I feel the need to cut, I just have to take out the paper and write something over and over. Most times it works. Other times--well, I have to get the new scars somehow. This time, I think it's enough. So, I fold it up again and secure it in the locket before I go and really wash off my face this time and sit on my bed watching old Troyler collabs. I swear their Boyfriend Tag makes me go crazy every time.

After I've watched every Troyler collabs and a whole load of Zalfie collabs, I decide to Face Time someone who is one of my best friends in the world. Hopefully she's awake seeing as it's only 10:07 where she lives.

Luckily, she answers. "Hey Clary!" Charlotte Branwell answers, her London accent a familiar comfort. Charlotte and her Boyfriend Henry are both a year older than me and were some of my best friends when my dad and I lived in London. "I wasn't expecting to get a call from you. Especially not this late."

"Well, 1. I needed to talk and 2. it's only just past 5:10 here," I say laughing.

She gives me a stern look. "Well forgive me if we have a five hour time zone difference. Plus this kid has decided to take four hour naps in the middle of the day and doesn't want to sleep," she says moving the camera to show her one year old son Charles. Charlie was a whoopsie child but he makes them both so happy and is honestly the most adorable child on this planet.

"Aww. You're just misunderstood Charlie. I get how you feel," I coo to the baby and he starts laughing.

"Hey! Don't encourage him!" Charlotte scolds me, but she starts laughing with me. "You said you needed to talk. What's on your mind?"