What to do When You're Contemplating Suicide

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Hey guys. It's me. As you can probably tell by the title, it's a rough time for me.

I got back from my European trip with my moms and let's just say I was reminded exactly why I have depression. I'm honestly so sick of all the people in my class giving me shit about things like loving to read and write, being an atheist, and even deciding to learn how to play three instruments. A few of them are even getting physical, though most of it is verbal. It's gotten to the point where I'm having mental breakdowns almost every week.

I've been trying to stay strong for a while but, honestly, I feel so done. I've been cutting for like 18 months and have attempted suicide once or twice before so this isn't a new feeling to me. It just seems a little more real this time.

Now I wouldn't normally share this kind of thing with you guys. I'm not looking for your pity or anything like that--I'm not that kind of person. I guess I just figured that if I completely disappear, you all should know why.

But who know? Maybe Peter Pan will come to take me to Neverland and this will all be over with.

Until next time book nerds.~Bella

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