I'm Not Her

Chapter 31: I'm Not Sleeping At His Flat

Thank you so so much! I have reached one million reads on this book and I am VERY excited. Thank you so much for your support and love, I love you all back :) Even when I act like a bitch...people have issues sometimes and I tend to show it more than others. ANYWAYS, read...unless...okay whatever I'm done here.

Chapter 31:

"Penelope, I heard you were faking as your sister?"

"Has it ever occurred to you that Zayn only loves you because you're the closest person he can get instead of Perrie?"

"Does being Perrie's sister affect your fame? Are you only doing this because of Zayn so he can increase your fame in America?"

"How are you dealing with all the hate? With all those people against the relationship you and Zayn have? I guess if you can't have the best, you just get the twin."

"Are you dating him for the attention you can get? To boost the views on your new television show all the way across the ocean in America?"

"Long distance relationships never work out. How will this affect you and Zayn?"

People were swarming me, thrusting microphones towards me. They were crowding closer and closer to me to the point where it was hard to breath. My breaths were heavy, my head was spinning, and there were too many voices speaking at the same time.

So many negative words towards my relationship.

A man got his way through and put the microphone right under my chin. "If I were Zayn, I'd hate you for switching lives with your sister. How does she feel about all this now?" 

It was too much. The lights, the flashes, the people. And there was no one here to help, to save me from all this. I couldn't take the screams, the shouts, the arguing and disagreement. The loud voices made my ears hurt.

All I wanted to do was cower in some corner and stay there. I had made such a bad choice. Forgiving him? Letting him back into my life? All this resulted in only distress and arguments. How could I be so naive to think that if we were together, things would be no different than it was when I acted as Perrie. It was a stupid thought because I knew in the back of my mind that things would never be the same. Life just wasn't that easy. What a dumb decision. 

I knew that this wouldn't end well, especially for me. 

More screams.

More microphones. 

And more hate. 

That was the one thing I could barely handle.

I woke up sweating. One palm was pressed over my thumping heart while the other clutched the sheets close to my chest. The room seemed hotter, even as I saw the fan spinning so fast I thought it would fall on me by now. It seemed too quiet for me and I hated it. 

Mostly, I hated the hostile weather in London. The buildings were old and there were only rare times you'd wake to sunshine. I knew in California that I would almost always wake up to the sun. The first time I was there, I left the curtains in my bedroom wide open so I could relish how the sun soaked into my pale skin. 

I glanced towards the windows, still covered by the long drapes. What time was it? I then turned to look at the clock on the nightstand, surprised that it was four in the morning. 

With that dream etched into my head, there was no way I'd be able to fall asleep again. It was bad, more like horrible. It was just a confirmation that dating Zayn, accepting him, and letting him back into my life was a bad idea. Perrie's concert was this evening and then after that, I'd head down to South Shields.