Come Inside the Mind of Jack - Things That Annoy Me

Cinemas...

We all love watching movies right? Going to the cinemas is pretty expensive... I'd rather watch a movie at home where I can relax and keep myself away from people... Annoying people.. There are plenty of things that annoy me at the cinemas. Here's a few!

 1****

Sound effects... The sounds in the cinemas really enhance the atmosphere for the movies but why do they find the need to make the sound effects so loud? The dialogue is extremely soft whereas the sound effects are deafening loud! Just when I'm leaning in to hear what the characters are saying... BOOM! Some psychopathic bastard bursts through the windows with a thunderous roar. I mainly watch horror movies so it scares me half to death, not because it's scary but because it's so bloody loud! You may think that I'm trying to act manly by saying that horror movies don't scare me but I have to admit that when I watched Ice Age I jumped a couple of times. Curse you loud sounds! I felt like such a wimp after that instance.

2****

Talking bastards... When I go to the cinemas, I pay $20 to watch a movie but I end up paying $20 to hear bastards talking. What a rip-off! If I wanted to do that I could've just climbed a tree and watch my neighbours through an open window for free. I think I'm being too general with the "talking bastards" part. I should split them into groups.

A****

Self-proclaimed psychics... These bastards think they're so smart! They're always saying how cliche a movie is and that they know what's going to happen. When the movie finishes they always say that they could see the plot twist a mile away. Of course your theory on what was going to happen was correct! You made about a hundred guesses during the movie. At least one of them should be right! Thank you for your detective work Sherlock Holmes! You have only failed 99 times out of 100!

B****

The comedian... These guys are hilarious...ly bad. They're always screaming out stupid jokes thinking that the audience would laugh with them. Why can't they do it at home? When I'm at the cinemas and I think of stupid jokes I don't go yelling it out. I'm considerate... Unlike some people. If they wanted people to laugh they should just stand in front of the screen.. Then people would see a joke.

C****

Loud eaters... These guys are slobs! They bring thousands of chip packets into the cinema. They're usually morbidly obese and have crumbs all over their face. Constantly throughout the film I would hear the crunching of snacks and the rustling of chip packets. It never ends! I hear crunching when they're eating but when they are not eating I hear a Darth Vader type of breathing through their mouths.

D****

Clueless guys... These oblivious bastards know nothing. When I say nothing... I MEAN NOTHING! Constantly throughout the movie I hear them asking questions. "Who's that guy?", "I thought he was on their side.", "Didn't he die already?", "Who's Jack Sparrow?". Don't they pay any attention? It's like they're not watching the movie on purpose. This bastard is probably that annoying guy in class who's always asking questions every other second. I'm 100% certain that these guys would be banned from the movie "Inception". Now that I think about it... i don't really blame them, they were probably too busy being distracted by the comedian and the self-proclaimed psychic.

Thanks for reading! I won't be going to the movies anymore because the transit officers have outsmarted me! I have to pay a $200 fine now... I could've bought 10 tickets to the cinemas! Now I'm broke. Another short chapter... I think. I'm not really sure what counts as short anymore.

Vote/Comment and fan if you liked what I wrote! If you hated it then become a transit officer and fine me another $200.

I'd like to thank everyone for fanning! I almost have 100 fans! I can almost brag to Stephen King and J.K.Rowling.