Chapter 21

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Matt's POV

"You tired?" I asked Alex as the three of us walked up to the front door.
She nodded but didn't say anything. She came back from the therapist looking exhausted and upset and she hadn't improved all day.
Lola unlocked the door and the three of us entered. I stopped to punch the code into the alarm.
"I think I'll go lay down." Alex said quietly.
"Good idea." I said smiling and she turned, heading up the stairs to her room.
"I'm going to Brian's tonight." Lola said, throwing her bag down and walking into the kitchen.
"Cool." I said, opening the fridge. "I'll stay here."
"Oh god, sorry Matt, I mean if you have plans, a date or something, Brian can come here."
"Nah it's fine." I mumbled. "I don't have a date, I'll stay, keep Alex company."
"Right Matt." Lola said dryly and I turned to look at her. "Why don't you have a date or something, you never have a date, why don't you date?"
"Fuck Lola, I didn't realize it was a problem."
"Well it is." She muttered, grabbing my soda and drinking it. "It's a big problem."
"How is my lack of love life your problem?"
"Because."
"Because why?" I snapped.
"Because I see the way you look at her." She told me.
"What the fuck are you talking about?" I snapped, turning to look back in the fridge.
"Matt." She said softly. "Alex. Of all the girls who made you get off your ass and your head out of a fucking game it had to be Alex?"
"Don't." I said.
"Matt, you know nothing could ever happen between you two, at least not for a long time and a shit load of therapy."
I grabbed my can. "Fuck off Lola." I snapped, walking into the entertainment room.
I flopped onto the couch, I was pissed. I knew it was true, I just didn't like anybody else saying it.
"Matt." Lola said, coming in and sitting next to me.
"Yes Lola I am aware of that fact." I mumbled. "But thank you so much for pointing it out."
"I'm sorry." She said. "But why Alex?"
I shrugged. "I don't know, there's something about her I find attractive."
"Well yes she's very attractive."
"No." I snapped. She didn't get it. "There's something about her, all of her that attracts me, not just her looks Lola, her whole soul."
"Oh god." She said quietly. "Matt."
"Fuck Lola I'm not stupid." I snapped. "I'm well aware of the fact that nothing will ever happen so if you could keep it to yourself and kindly fuck off to Brian's I'd appreciate it."
She stood up, sighing. "Matt when she is ready, whenever that is, I hope it's with you.
"You and me both." I muttered under my breath as she left the room.
I wasn't an asshole, what did Lola think I was going to do? I wasn't going to push Alex into anything, you just had to look into her eye's to know she was hurt, hurt so deep that she might never heal.
I layed back closing my eyes. Lola was right, why Alex? Because she was fucking special, that's why. I wished she wasn't, but to me she was.
Fuck.
"Matt." Someone whispered and I opened my eye's. Alex was sitting next to me smiling. "You must have fallen asleep." She murmured.
I looked around, it had grown dark. She was right, I must have fallen asleep.
"I've made dinner." She said softly.
I sat up, but she put her hand out. "Stay there, I'll bring it in."
I sat there, trying to shake off that sleepy feeling when Alex came back in, handing me a huge bowl of pasta and a drink.
"You didn't have to do this." I told her.
"I don't mind." She said walking out.
I looked down at the bowl. It looked delicious and I kind of wished Alex would've eaten with me. Even as I was thinking that, she walked back in, holding her own bowl and smiling.
"I hope it's alright." She said.
I ate a mouthful, closing my eyes. It was fucking delicious.
"It's perfect." I mumbled through my mouthful.
"Good." She smiled.
We sat there eating, chatting quietly about nothing in particular and once we'd finished I grabbed her bowl and I cleaned up the kitchen.
"We should watch a movie?" I suggested, walking back in.
She looked up at me, nodding and smiling.
I put something on, sitting back down, but before it started, there was one thing I had to know. "How did it really go this morning Alex?"
She shook her head, looking sad. "It was very sad."
"I'm sorry." I murmured. "I wish I could help."
She didn't reply, she just looked at me, shaking her head slightly.
Without even thinking what I was doing, I held out my arms, offering her a hug.
She looked at me, then at my outstretched arms.
You fucking idiot, I told myself and just as I was about to put my arms down, Alex moved closer, into them. Before she could change her mind, I wrapped her up in my arm's and she layed her head on my chest.
"It will get better Alex." I whispered.
"Will it?" She murmured.
"It will. I promise." I murmured back, then I softly kissed the top of her head.
I closed my eye's. I just wanted to enjoy this closeness.

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