Bear Heart (Klawdia, Book #1)

Chapter Ten

Every passing moment saw my mind curl in on itself as I became more and more torn between my child’s life and my position as chieftain of Ruxdor. With Skelkra as leader, Ruxdor would be taken in new directions—harmful and cruel directions that would put us in the line of war. Should we invade Senya and take hold of their lands? The leaders had argued over that question for a century. Since the Death Plague, there had never been a better time to strike.

Father had never liked the idea. Despite his volatile nature, his views on war were unwavering. We should not attack those whom we could align with. The Bears had always wanted peace, while the Wolves wanted land and war. Invading Senya seemed logical. Senya had five months when snow did not fall. Ruxdor had only three. Their pastures were fertile and their mountains filled with useful rock and stone. The Queens of North Senya had finally agreed to trade with us last year, allowing us to flourish. Already we struggled to feed the masses, and one day we’d be forced to give the Queens everything they wanted.

The Queens had never been shy about desiring our warriors, our fighters, our men. Thousands of years had seen our people perfect the sword, bow, and dagger. The Queens had taken one city, and now they wanted more, not Vilseek but Juxon City in South Senya. Obviously, Skelkra would try to form a strong alliance with the Queens, and we would lose our traditions, our rituals, and saddest of all, our identity.

However, if I ruled, I would form an alliance with the South Senyans. I would bypass the Queens, visit King Erageo, and help him take back Meligna, for the city rightfully belonged to him. The Queens had stolen it from him, and we, at the time, had helped them. The Queens deserved to pay, but my conscience whispered to me. Lured me into weaknesses of the heart that I had never known.

Everything became about my love for my unborn child. Soon it would germinate, grow, and flourish within my warm belly and worship the beating of my heart.

Since the Bestial Passage had ended, I’d learned to suppress my feelings for Skelkra. However, knowing about what grew in my belly had resurfaced those feelings that I tried to free myself of. They’d grown into whispers of attachment, and my adoration for Skelkra loudened and multiplied. We’d created a life together. I shook my head.

Stupid, sentimental girl.

I shifted my legs to the side of my bed and cringed at the pain; my entire body ached from the fight. In the scuffle, I had cut my hands and bruised my knees and elbows. I wanted more dragonclaw, but knew the substance would pollute my mind. I needed my wits. My child needed me to be alert. A haunting feeling spread through my mind and ran the length of my body, causing my skin to tighten. My wounds pulsed. Thoughts taunted me. I was losing my mind. I punched a wall.

My knuckles reddened, and tiny cuts leaked blood. I wiped my hand on my clothes, and my eyes fell upon the black seeds on a table beside my bed. I moved towards them, taking small steps. I crouched, took one in my hand, and considered its power. I could end my torment just by slipping it into my mouth and swallowing. I shook my head and paced to the entranceway.

The morning illuminated patches of snow that had settled on rooftops. People went about their business as usual, as if they’d completely forgotten the fight, the Bestial Passage, and the loss of Vilseek’s wisest men. How I envied them; they never had to carry the weight I did. I stepped into a cool breeze and headed for Skelkra’s hut. People smiled and clapped at me as I moved amongst them—some even bowed their heads confirming their acceptance that I would rule after Father died. Their lack of contempt made me reconsider taking the seeds in my hut. Finally, they had accepted me, and I could rule without further question. As I neared the ramp to Skelkra’s dwelling, my father came up beside me and placed a hand on my shoulder.