Swimming to the Light (Southern Vampire Mystery)

Chapter 20 - Taking Bearings

Sanctum:

Sookie was crying with the abandon of a child. "I'm so sorry, Eric! I didn't want to do this! I've been working this around in my head and I thought I'd be all brave and having something all inspirational to say. Instead I'm just a hot mess." The pain of parting rushed over her again and she found herself sobbing helplessly, her fingers gripping and then stroking his sides. She was ashamed that she was wasting their last minutes together. She knew she had snot running down her face and that just made her cry harder.

At first Eric had been alarmed by her complete disintegration. One minute she had been a shield maiden at his side, planning confidently; a rock. But as he moved to the edge of the bed in preparation for dressing she had crumbled. He had felt her confidence recede and a great sadness fill its space. And then she had flung herself across him and started to cry. He had tried to shush her but finally given up the effort and leaned back against the headboard, wrapping her in his arms and allowing her to give vent to her feelings.

It had felt like a storm; rocky and turbulent but underneath the grief and the sadness he had felt something new from her. There was a connection there that was aimed at him. It felt like acceptance but was somehow deeper and more pure. As her wails slowed and became a kind of hiccupping, he felt it more strongly. He had thought he had felt love from her in the past but now he knew that he had not.

"Do you regret this?" he whispered to the air above her. He was suddenly afraid of the answer. But Sookie turned in his arms and grabbed his chin. He couldn't help chuckling. She looked terrible but at the same time never more beautiful.

"Never. I love you. I love you Eric Northman. And if you want me to bond with you right now to prove it I will!" Sookie struggled out of his arms and started scrubbing at her cheeks with the back of her hands. She looked at the table beside the bed for Kleenex. Eric handed her a towel they had used earlier and Sookie used it to wipe her face. He could feel her pulling herself together. She looked at him and she sent him a feeling of pure possessiveness. He actually felt himself warming because the sensation was so strong. "I said it before Eric and I'll keep saying it. I am yours. I am yours with everything I have; my heart, my body, everything I am." Sookie wiped at his chest and then leaned to lay her head back against him.

"Well," Eric chuckled. "Perhaps I should ask you to have that tattooed somewhere so that when you forget the reminder will be handy."

Sookie snorted. "Like 'property of Eric Northman'?"

'Nothing that grand." He smiled. "'Mine' will do." Eric pulled her into his arms and kissed her. Sookie remembered reading in a novel that a true kiss was one where you kiss like it's the last time. Eric's lips on hers felt like goodbye.

Eric felt her sadness return. "No lover," he whispered. "No sadness now. We will part but only for a little while. We will be together again. That is written for us both. We have walked far but our journey's end is now ahead of us. Surely you believe in that."

Sookie smiled then and nodded. Eric; her Eric smiled broadly. "Let me go now, lover. Let me remember this moment and how you look. Amun Summit is in weeks. Find a way to be there. We will see each other again." Then he wrapped her in his arms. Although Sookie couldn't feel his emotions she was sure that he was not feeling as strong as he sounded.

He pulled away from her once more and moved to the side of the bed. Sookie turned on her side and he looked at her over his shoulder.

"It is time," he said. "Never doubt me. Never doubt us. Close your eyes now and count to twenty. Know that with every breath you take I am one step closer to you."

Sookie closed her eyes, tears falling freely down her cheeks. She counted and when she opened her eyes Eric Northman was gone.

Sookie returned to her room. She sat on the bed and relived every moment; every touch that had passed between herself and her Viking. Dawn was approaching and the horizon was streaked with pinks and oranges. "Red sky in morning..." Sookie thought. There would be a change in the weather and it would not be fair skies. Then she remembered her favorite movie and Scarlett O'Hara standing against a blazing sunset holding the turnip and declaring that she would fight on.