Castle: A heavy heart✔️

Chapter 1 Morning

Beckett-I woke up from a nightmare that was so familiar, but I had not been haunted with this dream for years. I reached over hoping to feel the warmth of my partner, but instead disappointed by the cold sheets. Then I remember the choice I made, to go through this on my own, to keep him safe. As I look out the window, I see the sky is crying with me. The loud thunder reminds me of that night ow so long ago, the night he found out my true feelings towards him. I find myself on the floor in a puddle of tears, the warm streams of water coming from my eyes won't stop! "Castle!" I'm yelling his name now. "CASTLE!" His name comes out of my mouth louder than ever. by now I have reached for my phone. "I want to hear his voice!" I thought. But I don't call him knowing he will want to see me, to talk about us. I want to see him, I want to leap into his arms and never let go of his embrace. But I can't! "He will want me to come back to him, and I just can't!"
My eyes are red now from all the sobbing, but the burning tears won't stop! Instead they quicken! I run outside hoping the cold rain will help cool me down. It takes a minute but eventually my sobbing is now a silent cry. I walk awhile, not wanting to go back to that lonely apartment. After an hour I find myself at the swing set where castle had proposed to me. They came back without a warning, the boiling hot tears. "Why!" "Why dose it have to be this way!" I walk for at least 4 or 5 more hours until my feet start to hurt. "I guess no one is concerned where I am." "no one really cares about me other than castle." "I hope I die! No one cares other than Rick! I screwed up this time, and I can't turn back now! But why me! Why does it have to be like this for me!"she finally had to stop walking when it reached 1:am. Now her ankles were swollen red and her cheeks were red from her hot tears. The rain had finally stopped. It was down to a drizzle now. She started to sneeze, and in that moment she knew she was coming down with a cold. " ow crap!" She said as the sneezing would not stop. " well I wasn't going to go to work any way tomorrow." All she wanted to do was crawl into her own bed at the loft. She wanted to go home to Rick and lay on his chest as he massaged her head. Just as a tear almost fell she wiped it away. "Don't you think I'm sick enough!" She said as she tried to hold back the tears. But instead of going home, she turned around and headed back to the apartment with the cold sheets.