From Falling off a Stage to Failing at Softball

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I stood out in the hallway behind the curtains, sweat beading my forehead.  I pulled my tight-fitting shirt farther up and adjusted the waistband of my slacks.  I pulled a brush from my bag and ran it over my long, brown hair.  This was a big moment for me.  I couldn’t mess this up; it had to be perfect.  I put on my light-framed sunglasses, took a deep breath, put on my signature smile, and stepped through the curtain to be met with camera flashes and excited cries.

“There she is!  There’s their manager!” one reporter called as he snapped a picture of me.  I kept up my signature smile as I walked down the long carpet, my body guards in front of me pushing people out of the way.

“Are you excited to be the new manager of Alvin and the Chipmunks?”

Wait, what? I thought as I continued to walk towards the VIP lounge.

“What does it mean to you to be taking this journey with them on tour?” the reporters just kept hurling questions at me, and I was getting more and more confused.

Finally I put it together.  Apparently I was the new manager of the hottest band in Dream World; Alvin and the Chipmunks.  Well this was absolutely bogus, but I went with it.  I figured I’d best make a good impression on the many people who had such a great interest in me, so I kept right on smiling at all of the important-looking people inside the lounge.

I walked over to the long table of food and drinks, and resorted to simply getting some coffee.  The people watched me with great interest as I walked over to the edge of the strange platform-type thing we were standing on.  We had a great view of the concert, it was amazing.  I got caught up in the excitement and started leaning closer towards the stage, my eyes getting wider as I watched the lyrics roll on the screens, the chipmunks sing and dance, the lights flash across the audience…

“Aaaaaahhhhh!!” I yelled as my coffee spilled all over my shirt.  I fumbled with my napkin, trying to wipe as much off as I could.  While I was frantically scrambling around, I completely forgot that I was on the edge of a platform.  Next thing I know I was tumbling off of it and crashing into the ground, landing on top of my coffee cup and crushing it.  Now I was covered in even more coffee, and I looked up to see the concerned stares of many wide-eyed VIP members.

Well, so much for making a good impression.

Now began the worst part of the entire concert.  I climbed back up onto the platform, stood up, and just as I was flashing my signature smile once again, I fell back off again for no apparent reason.  I climbed back up again, trying to be extra careful not to fall off again, to no avail.  Nope, I just kept scrambling up, then falling back down with a loud “thud” each time.  In the meantime, all of the VIP members had gone from staring at me in shock and concern, to laughing loudly at me.  The stage cameras had gone from the chipmunks to me, their manager, scrambling up, and falling down.

This, my friends, is why I was very relieved when my dream flashed to me in athletic shorts and a t-shirt, walking with some friends towards a softball field.  Sure, I don’t play softball, but it was better than falling off that stage while listening to the roaring laughter of hundreds of people.

I walked through the gate of the field, holding my bat, and stepped in line behind the other batters.  And by stepping in line… I mean I walked for what felt like miles past a huge line of people until I got to the end of the line.  I watched each batter come up, hit the ball (sometimes), and make it safely to another base (once again…sometimes). 

After waiting for a while, some kid got up to the plate and prepared to take his turn.  The first pitch came, strike one.  Second pitch, strike two.  On the third pitch, the kid hit it full force, too bad he hit it backwards and into the woods behind us.

“I’ll get it!” I yelled enthusiastically.  I bounded into the woods in search of the softball.  It took me forever, and I was starting to get discouraged, but eventually I found it and made my way back out of the forest and onto the field, where I waved it proudly and said, “Got it!”

My enthusiasm was whisked away when I realized who the pitcher and the catcher were.  It was Daniel and Jared.  I hadn’t seen them in years, and for good reason.  They were two of the biggest jerks I had ever met.

Perfect, I thought.

“Well look who it is,” Daniel said with a smug smile.

“Hello, boys,” I said, returning his smugness with a sly glare.

“Wonder if she’s gotten any better at softball,” Jared said with a smirk.

“You bet I have,” I lied.

“I doubt it,” Daniel said, laughing.

“Is that a challenge?”

“Heck yeah it is, come on, let’s see what you got,” Jared said, holding his glove out for the ball.

I threw the ball at him and said, “Fine”.

That’s when everyone started laughing at me…again.

“Clearly you haven’t gotten that much better,” Daniel said, about to fall over laughing.

“What are you talking about,” I said in a somewhat bratty tone.

“This is a piece of fruit, smart one,” Jared said, his smirk three times bigger.

To my great dismay, he was right.  What I thought was a softball was actually a piece of purple fruit with orange spikes all over it.

What. The. Flipping. Heck.

Bouncing back quickly from my shock and embarrassment, not wanting to give them the satisfaction, I said, “So what?  I can hit anything.”

Looking taken aback, Jared hesitated, then replied, “Fine.  Let’s see it then, if you’re so confident.”

I strutted right up to home plate, kicking up some dust in Daniel’s face as I readied myself for the pitch.  I smiled in satisfaction as he spat dirt from his mouth in disgust.

Almost hesitantly, Jared wound up and threw the piece of fruit.  I swung with everything I had and, to my surprise, actually made contact.  The fruit went flying right back at Jared, and to my great delight smashed right in his face.  Purple goop was everywhere, and now everyone was laughing at him instead of me. 

I had just enough time to look at Daniel’s shocked reaction before this strange dream came to a close.

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