Read My Shorts

Being Shown the Ropes

Being Shown the Ropes

“Er, excuse me, are you Mr Down?” A nervous looking young man in a smart suit approached the older man who stood waiting by the church door.

“Yes. I assume you would be Mr Alistair?”

“Yes, sir. Daniel Alistair from Burford and Burford, I’m here to have a look at the damage you spoke to a colleague of mine about yesterday.”

“Lovely, thank you for coming so early, it’s important that we have a chat before the vicar turns up you see.”

“Er, yes.” Daniel paused momentarily before continuing. “And there is a reason for this I assume?”

“Yes son, there is, but I’ll explain in a moment. Follow me and I’ll show you the damage.”

Daniel followed Mr Down into the church. It had been a while since he had been to church and he’d forgotten how quiet they could be with the muffling effect of the thick walls surrounding him. It didn’t help to reduce the nervousness he felt, and he felt sure that Mr Down would be able to tell just by looking at him that this was his first week in the job since leaving University.

They walked towards the belfry and Mr Down pulled out a large brass key before heading up a few stone steps to the imposing wooden door.

“I hope you’m feeling fit boy, we need to go right up to the top.”

As the iron bound wooden door creaked open on well oiled hinges, Daniel peered dubiously into the darkness of the tower stairs.

A few minutes later the two of them climbed up through the last few steps into the belfry and Daniel saw at last why he was there. One of the tall beech trees to the rear of the church had crashed through one of the slatted arches that kept air circulating through the tower, and had badly damaged several of the wooden beams that held the bells in place. Through some odd chance, none of the bells had tumbled into the ringing chamber below and Mr Down had carefully roped them into place to stop them falling.

“It’s not good is it?” said Daniel. "All those beams need to be replaced, we’ll have to take the bells out and re-do the loft floor and the slats need to be replaced too. I think there’s some structural damage to the wall and we’ll need to check the lead on the roof as well. At least you’re insured Mr Down. We’ll get an estimator in and see what we can do.”

A sudden boom echoed through the church.

“That’ll be the vicar” said Mr Down. “Um, before he gets here I just wanted to explain why I wanted a quick moment with you first. It’s a little delicate.”

“It’s okay Mr Down; you’d be surprised what people come up with during these visits, fire away.”

“Well, it’s just that I’d like you to fill in one part of the insurance forms after the vicar has seen them, as he might get a little upset. Where it says cause of damage, do you think we could put in “Act of God” after he’s looked them over?”

~~~ The End ~~~