The Devil's Assistant

Oh, God

AUTHOR'S NOTE:

So this chapter contains a bit of religion-ish (religical?) re-telling. Don't comment & say that it isn't right, because I know it isn't. I wrote it. All of the following is FICTIONAL. It's not what I believe, it's not what I'm saying is true. So don't get upset or offended if you're really religious or something. Get over it. It's what I wrote. & if it's horribly offensive, then don't read it! :) 

Enjoy!

~Ivy~    

“No, I don't,” Will protests. “I didn't even know you had a brother.” I resist the urge to give myself a face-palm.

      “Are you serious? Think about it," I say exasperatedly. 

      Will's quiet for a moment, contemplating. Sheldon just sits there with an amused expression on his face. He's probably thinking the same thing I am – is Will a natural brunette?

      Finally I can't take it anymore. “He's God,” I say, not bothering to hide my annoyance. “Sheldon's brother is God. How did you not get that?” Will looks at me, his full lips in an “o” shape.

      Then he looks at Sheldon who's just smirking, as usual. “I think I overestimated your intellect,” Sheldon says.

      Will's cheeks flush. “It isn't a matter of intellect,” he insists.

      “More like stupidity,” I mutter. Sheldon gives me a high-five behind my back.

      “Wait... so, I'm meeting God?”

      “You know, you really should be on Jeopardy,” I tell him. “You're real good with questions.”

      Will ignores this. “This is amazing!” He runs a hand through his hair, his eyes wide. “Holy shit. I'm going to meet God! This – this is incredible!” I take a glance at Sheldon, which confirms my thoughts: Uh oh. I see the flash of outrage on his face, but then he hides it behind his usually calm expression.

      “You wouldn't think meeting the Devil was interesting enough,” he huffs, thoroughly annoyed.

      “Like I said,” I say, trying to shut Will up, “Royal's not that great. He's kind of... strange. Sounds like more than he really is.” Will gives me a look that says shut-up-you're-ruining-my-moment-here. I shoot him a look in response that says I-don't-give-a-shit-stop-talking.

      “Anyhoo,” I say through clenched teeth, “what do you need us to tell him that's so urgent? And the more important question, why does he have to come with me?”

      Will rolls his eyes.

      “Look at you two,” Sheldon says, obviously cheered up. “You're like siblings. Except siblings don't make out," --at this point he adds, "like I said they would," under his breath-- "and then get pissed at each other for the rest of eternity." 

      I scowl at him, and Will looks uncomfortable.

     "Feelings aside, this mission is important," Sheldon says. "Which is why it requires both of you. So, I need you to go up to Heaven and---"

     "Oh my God!" Will shouts. Then he pauses. "Literally!" 

     "--get something from my brother," Sheldon finishes. "There's a strong chance he'll refuse to give it up, so you have to be diligent. I don't expect you to leave without it."