The Devil's Assistant

What'd I tell you?

      "Hey, Cerbie," I whisper as I walk quietly to the gates of Hell. His heads jolt up, six eyes instantly narrowing. Once he sees it's me, though, he's all smiles and start wagging his tails and trying to jump on me. "Shh!" I hiss at him.

      I really, really, don't want to run into Sheldon or Will right about now. I don't want to put up with Will's predictable apologies or Sheldon's ramblings about how I should've come home on time. They can both stuff it for all I care.

       I pat Cerberus on one of his his black, furry heads so he doesn't feel neglected, and push the gates open. I start the walk up the smooth path to the enormous mansion on top of the green and shaggy hill. Unlike what most people think, Hell isn't made of fire and heat and all that crap. It's mainly just sprawling fields where the dead souls lay, wandering and thinking about their past gone wrong. Not evil or creepy at all.

       But the great thing about Hell is that you can make it whatever you want. Literally. All you have to do is think of where you want to be, and the scenery shifts around you. When I first got here I was obsessed with playing around with different landscapes. One day I would do a sunset at the beach, the next a freezing winter night in the South Pole. But when none of us bothers to mix it up, it just stays its normal grassy self. And no matter what place its in, there's always the huge mansion. It makes Will's family's house look like a mere shack in comparison. Of course Sheldon's had thousands of years to work on it.

       When I reach the house, I swerve around and decide to take the back door. I slip inside and take off my sneakers, tossing them quietly on the floor. I pad down the hall in my socks, being careful to not make any noise. After a few minutes of walking, my room is in sight. I fight the urge to do a victory dance.

      "Ahem," Sheldon steps out of the shadows. "Where have you been?"

      I slump in defeat. Why did I think I could've made it?

     "On the earth plane," I reply smoothly, hoping he missed my sigh.

       He didn't. "I expected you back this morning."

       I shrug. "You're the one that forced me to stay up there. It's not my fault I took my time getting back."

       He glares at me. "Yes it is. Because you were so late, Will had to go out and do your day's work for you."

     I stifle a grin. Yes!

       Sheldon scowls. "Do you know how much work will be left undone?"

       "I can only imagine."

The Devil rolls his eyes and pinches the bridge of his nose. He looks up again at me.

"What were you doing that took so long anyway?" He inquires.

"Nothing," I say quickly. Too quickly. 

Sheldon eyebrows raise as he smirks. He knows I'm lying.

      "Mmm, really? So, you just decided to sit around, killing time, and leave your work undone? You know if that's true then I'll be even more angry about you getting back late."

I roll my eyes.

     "And if I'm angry, then it looks like you'll have to have a punishment." Sheldon says nonchalantly. "Let's say, a month without going up to the earth plane?" He pretends to examine his nails.

     I smirk. "Then I won't be able to collect souls. Will will have to do it alone."

      Sheldon smiles at me. "I can help Will. I have lots of paperwork you can take care of."