Brotherly Blunders

The Spirit is Willing, but the Flesh is Weak

This is a sequel to the previous chapter. It's basically 'Within the Woods' from Leo's POV. With a little bit of behind the scenes. Enjoy!

I watched sadly as my immediate younger brother left the room. I knew what he was thinking about. I could see it in his eyes. I've only been awake an hour or so, but I can already feel the change in my brothers. Raph in particular has seemed...different. I don't really know how to explain it.

It's almost as though I can feel how much he's hurting.

The sound of a creak and a door slam echoed through the old farmhouse.

I turned to the others. "Where did he go?" They all looked at each other.

But Casey was the first to actually say something. "Out into the woods. He spends a lot of time there." Casey's eyes clouded over, "I'd let him be for now. He's got a lot to get out of his system."

I was silent. I don't know how Casey had known I was about to get up and go after Raph, but I decided to take his advice. Raph probably just needed time.

Later that night, I was stretched out on the bed in a room my brothers had set up. According to Don I was rooming with Raph. That was fine. I was used to it. Before we had moved to our own rooms, we used to be doubled up. I was with Raph and Don was with Mikey. In those days Raph's temper was much more unpredictable and I was the only one of my brothers strong enough to defend myself if need be. Of course he never meant to attack us. He just lost control.

That year or so that the two of us shared a room gave me a lot of insight as to my hotheaded brother's character. I knew how to handle his angry spells, but I still don't always understand him. He's just so complex.

Raph's emotional. He always has been. And his eyes are usually the easiest thing to read. But earlier this afternoon I couldn't see any emotion in them. I frowned. Raph must be more upset than I thought. He only actively hides his emotions when he doesn't want to burden us with them.

I heard a gentle knock at the door and glanced up. Raphael walked in slowly, his eyes still unreadable. He was silent. My dark blue eyes ran briefly up and down his frame, noting the subtle differences.

Raphael looked alright...for the most part. His shell had a few dents and scratches that I hadn't seen before, probably from the fight for New York City. He looked dead tired. His muscles were thick and chiseled as ever.

His eyes were bloodshot. But April had mentioned he hadn't been sleeping.

I frowned. There was something else, though. About his eyes. His eyes were...wrong. They were pale and foggy. Instead of neon green they were now a dull greenish-white.

His posture was also wrong. He stood with his head slightly bowed and his shoulders hunched. Raph had never been like that before. It wasn't in his personality.

I stared back into his eyes once more. There was something else there. Something hard and piercing. Pain. Pain and anguish.

"You okay?" I asked him mildly, my voice not quite capturing how concerned I was.

"No." I stared. That answer worried me. It was a very un-Raph-like answer. Raph usually tried to avoid talking about himself as much as he could. Giving straight answers wasn't like him.

"What's wrong?" I found the voice to ask.

His green eyes stared up into mine. He looked weary. "What isn't?"

Now that was a Raph-like answer. Always making things harder than they needed to be.

"Raph..." I began softly, but my voice faded. I couldn't bring myself to speak anymore.