Brotherly Blunders

Thicker than Water

I wrote this a long time ago and it is still one of my favorite chapters of this fic. This chapter will cover Raphael's activities during the three months that Leo was unconscious. Raphael is practically coming apart at the seams but he pushes himself to do everything he can for his brothers. Question is: will Leonardo be able to help Raph once he's awake again?

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Raph's POV

My eyes rested on the figure lying motionless in the bathtub, but my mind had already begun to wander elsewhere. A week had passed.

Leo was still unconscious.

Donatello said the injuries were bad. All of us were affected by it, of course.

But I knew. I could see it in the gaze my immediate younger brother sent me. It was there. The unspoken truth. The silent subtext that neither of us had the strength to voice.

I pulled back into the here and now, and glanced down at my hands. Huh. They're shaking.

I should feel something. Something more. But I don't. I can't.

My hands won't stop shaking. I shook my head and pushed that from my mind.

Everyone knows I'm the most emotional of my brothers. Not anymore. Not...anymore. Now, there is nothing. I feel nothing. There is only numbness.

My hands are still shaking. My arms are cold. But I don't move. I will not move. I must wait. I have to wait.

I am waiting.

I don't know how long I've been sitting here. I don't remember grabbing his hand, but I am holding it now. Why don't I know? Why don't I remember? What's happening to me? I can't-

I don't know. I don't know anymore. I don't know what to feel, I don't know what to do. I don't know anything anymore. I have lost my sense of time. More than that.

I have lost my father. The tears that fill my eyes come unbidden. I choke back an inevitable sob. Sensei...

I lunged off the stool and threw my arms over the side of the tub, laying the side of my head against its edge and staring at my older brother's eerily still features. I closed my eyes tightly as silver droplets ran down my cheeks.

Desperation. That's all I have left.

My hands shake. The tears run down my face.

The door opens. Someone rushes to my side. They yell to Donatello. The next thing I know, someone is pulling me away. I don't know who it is. I don't see them. I don't see anything.

All I see is my father, being swept away. My brother in the bathtub...dying.

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Several weeks later...

It's been a while since then. Donnie thinks my 'mild breakdown' resulted from shock. Everything had happened so fast, that the real nature of it hadn't settled in.

Both of my little brothers told me I could talk to them anytime. Not that I'm going to. They wouldn't understand.

My hands still shake, but only when I'm not actively suppressing it.

I was back. Sitting on the stool in the bathroom. Every day. I was the only one.

They had changed. All of them. They acted exactly the same as they had before. Mikey was cheery, as usual, and Don was holed up in his new 'lab.' Casey was helping April repair things around the house.