Fill Me Up

Part 7 1/2

~*~ NIALL'S POV ~*~

White noise was all I heard, little dots fluttered around in my vision, my chest rose and fell at a rapid pace. Zayn couldn't have said what I though he did. No, I couldn't leave him like that. We haven't known each other for long, barely two weeks or so, yet I already felt as if I had known him for forever, that I wanted to know him for forever. There's something about him that draws me closer- maybe the glimmer of hope in his eyes when he looks at me or the fear in his voice I want to strip away or even how perfect he looks although hes been stuck in a disgusting closet for days- who knows but theres something there. Something I found and am not quite ready to lose. He makes me feel as if I dont have to pretend around him, like I shouldn't have to hide when I'm around him. Hes accepting and wonderful and something the whole world would die to have in their arms.

Yet he just gave up his life to free me. Me; the cutter, the guy thats pretending to be someone hes not, the one that didn't have a future if the raven haired boy wasn't by his side. The broken one. I didn't deserve to have a life while Zayn was being raped and abused. I can't let him suffer like that. I wont. Yet if I open my mouth he'd die.

After the cold "Deal" slipped out of Zayn's father's mouth, the dull thud against my ribs was the only indication that I was still alive-that time was still moving, draging me along for the ride. I continued to stare as relief washed over Zayn's being. I couldn't help but wonder how the hell he was able to stay so calm and relaxed when he just gave up his life for me. What would he have done if he were to be in my position?

I was finally snapped out of my thoughts and back into the tense atmosphere inside the stuffy closet when I was met with hazel eyes searching mine for my thoughts and emotions. I immediately wiped all expressions from my face and turned to his father, suppressing a disgusted glared from making an appearance in my eyes, "Sir," I started politely despite how much I lothed him to the core, "may I spend the night here before I leave tomorrow?"

"Do whatever the fuck you want, ya cunt. Go frolic in a damn meadow for all I fucking care. What's mine is safe and thats all thats important to me." he spat through his yellowing teeth before he turned on his heel and strutted out of the room and into the living room I guessed judging by the sudden loud noise from the telly.

I sighed and sat down next to the black haired boy who seemed to refuse to take his eyes off of his ripped jeans, playing with the massive holes in them. I stared, how could he have been so stupid? Shaking my head, I took out a blade that I had snuck in my pocket and used it to unbind him. His wrists were red and sore and when I made to help him get up, his legs shook having not stood in such a long time. He looked at me questioningly as I carried him to the bathroom and sat him on the toilet as I got his bath ready.

There were no windows in the bathroom, not that I was going to consider that since we were on the second floor and below us was nothing but concrete. Besides, right now all I wanted to do was take care of my Zayn while I still had my chance.

I stripped him of his clothing. Making sure to check the water's temperature beforehand, I helped him settle into the porcelain tub, letting the water envelope his thin frame. Tears pricked my eyes as they scanned his chest and took in each and every bone that made up his ribcage. His stomach was deflated from it not being properly fed in so long. I allowed a few tears to escape from the thought of someone so perfect and pure destroying themselves because for someone else's selfish actions. Zayn deserved it least of all.

After a long moment of simply admiring his strength, I wiped my tears, deeming it a useless waste of time. Petty tears weren't going to solve anything. With a sigh I hauled myself up and proceeded to shed the clothing from my skin and gently joined Zayn. I positioned myself inbetween his lazily outstretched legs where his ankles layed, my calfs on top of his hips and my ankles crossing behind his back. I leaned forward to reach behind him for the shampoo, letting the smooth liquid coat my fingers before I ran them through his thick, dark locks trying to get all of the white gunk out of it and removing everything bad. he let his eyes flutter shut as I continued to massage his scalp and I let myself admire his long eyelashes and trace his sharp features with my eyes. I let the water rinse away the soap before reaching for the soap. I let the soap filled loofah scrub his olive skin gently. He still hadn't opened his eyes and I was beginning to get worried he was having a silent panic attack. I dropped everything I was doing to caress his cheek and pull him into my chest, letting my body absorb the violent sobs that now rocked the boy's delicate frame.

"It's going to be ok, love" I whispered, pressing light kisses to the top of his head and letting my fingers trail his smooth skin in comfort. "It's all going to be alright."

~*~

A/N: Ok ok, I know I suck and haven't updated in over a month but I had serious writers block and just... the writing was feeling forced and it physically hurt to read it back bc that's how bad it was and ik this is poor excuses in a big blob of a ramble but now that im in summer break ill make a bigger attempt to battle writers block.

I would also like to say that I also have the obligation to plan my 15 and, being the perfectionist I am, that is going to take up most of my time it having to be in august which is nearing. but I will work around it.

ok this is the last thing sorry its so long but I've noticed other writers having certain goals to be reached before they updated again so I would like to try that. if its not too much to ask, could you guess please leave 4 votes and 4 comments on what you thought of it? I love feedback and it remindes me im not writing for just my dog anymore {im a loser sorry}

anyways **4 comments and 4 votes please** thanks I love you all

Xx Fi

(p.s. I didn't edit it so sprry for any mistakes)

(p.s.s. I apologise for being an ass)