Fill Me Up

Part 6

~*~ CAUTION: THERE WILL BE MENTIONS OF EATING DISORDERS THROUGHOUT. THERE ARE ALSO MORE MATURE SCENES THAT INCLUDE ZAYN AND HIS FATHER RIGHT AT THE START, IT MAY BE TRIGGERING SO IN THAT'S THE CASE, SKIP ALL THE ITALICIZED WORDS AT THE BEGINING, SORRY FOR THE TROUBLE! XX ~*~

~*~ ZAYN'S POV ~*~

I pulled away with a pop, cat-licking the tip a couple of times before surrounding the pulsing member once more. He came with a final lick across the slit and I tried my hardest not to heave the disgusting fluids I was just forced to swallow. How did my mother endure this? A shiver ran through me as I felt the come settled in my stomach, I hated having part of my father inside of me. I already had to deal with him outside so why was I obligated to have him in me also?

I opened my eyes, seeing a new look in my fathers eyes as he gazed back. It wasn't anything I had ever seen and that scared me, what's wrong? What's different? I had no time to think about it as he crashed his lips on mine. They were rough yet wet, slimy and I had the sudden urge to throw up. I turned my head in an attempt to get him off of me, anything so I didn't have to feel him on me anymore.

My father fell forward but was able to catch himself, freezing afterwards as if just realizing what had just happened. He never kissed me, ever. He pushed himself into a standing position, staring at me with his mouth agape before he dashed out of the room. Tears stung my eyes but I didn't care, my father had just kissed me. Never had I thought I would be dealing with something like this. Ever. My father had never shown any type of care for me so why would he be suddenly kissing me out of nowhere?

The urge to purge came back and this time I didn't stop myself from standing in order to shove two fingers down my throat. I aimed towards the corner farthest from me as the burning acid traveled up my throat, what difference would it make if I threw up? I've done it plenty of times before and it already smelled horrible in here so it doesn't matter. Yet I almost regretted it once I saw that it splattered everywhere.

I sat back down, welcoming the revolting flavor of vomit in my mouth that thankfully took the place of the taste of my fathers cock. I closed my eyes to savor the empty, reassuring feeling in my stomach. I'd missed it. Even though it had only been one or two days {You could never really be sure in here}, I'd missed the sensation of having my fingers in the back of my throat, the way the contents of my stomach crawls up my throat, even that bitter taste in my mouth. I had longed for them all. It was stupid of me to think that I could live without the emptiness, the only thing I've had that was never taken away from me. My father had taken everything from me; my dignity, my mother's love, my will to live, my virginity, etc but purging was something I had to hold on to. It is everything I've ever known.

~*~

I had been dreaming of blond hair and blue eyes when the sound of the doorknob turning and the door squeaking open brought me closer to consciousness. I felt the air shift as the person sat down next to me. They ran the pads of their fingers delicately across my nose, eye lids, cheek bones, and lips; mapping the contours of my face as if it would aid in engraving my appearance in their minds. Their hand pulled away only to be replaced by a pair of lips on my own. I held still, feigning sleep to avoid any conflict although I was dying to get as far away from whoever this was as fast as I could.

They pulled away and hovered before finally sighing and standing to leave the room. I cracked one of my eyes open to see who it was that had been observing me in my sleep.

It was my father. No shocker there. Hah. No, I definitely would be fine with my father watching me as I slept cause that's totally normal.

The door creaked closed and I was once again bathed in darkness. I welcomed it with open arms as my mind raced in circles of what my father could possibly be doing with this. He must be doing it to make me uncomfortable; another part of his plan to make me miserable. That must be it, there would be no other explanation for it.