The Fault in Ourselves

Chapter 5

Hey I haven't updated in a long time. I promise I will try to make this longer. Wish me luck!
When we were back home, I drove to the gas station. Somebody took my god damn cigarettes. All I wanted to do was smoke but not smoke.
As I parked in the parking lot, I felt a burning pain in my stomach. I suddenly felt my dinner coming up and I started to puke everywhere.
My car, my shoes, my jeans, everything was ruined. The pain was absolutely unbearable. I lifted up my shirt, and everything looked green and red and slimy and it hurt like hell. The cancer must have gotten infected.
I called my mom and dad but they both didn't answer. They were probably asleep or still eating dinner or something. After sitting there in tears and pain, I decided to call Hazel. I coughed on the phone and begged her to come help me.
I saw her car about ten minutes later. This part is going to be different for dramatization. As soon as Hazel opened the car door, I saw stars and everything went black. The pain was gone.

That scared you, didn't it? I am not done yet.
When I opened my eyes, it was bright, and I saw a man wearing a white jacket. Oh my god. I'm in the hospital. I'm in the fucking hospital. This is horrible. I wasn't ready to die yet.
I saw my parents. They were crying and when they saw me they immediately stood up and ran over to me. "Hazel. I need Hazel," I moaned. I needed to propose.
I had asked her parents a few days ago and they agreed it was a great idea.
"Honey, visiting hour is in 30 minutes. Stay strong," my mom pleaded. Once the room was silent, the doctor spoke up.
"I'm terribly afraid that Augustus only has 45 minutes until he passes away,"
I broke into tears. I needed to tell Hazel how I really felt.
Five minutes passed.
Ten minutes passed.
Fifteen minutes passed.
Twenty minutes passed.
Thirty minutes passed.
By thirty five minutes I was sobbing. Five minutes later, the door slammed open. Hazel ran in. "Gus oh my god you're okay!" she exclaimed, apologizing for being late. She shivered and I could tell she was cold. I have her my jacket, keeping the note in there too. She kissed me, but I pulled away. I needed to say something before it was too late.
"Hazel I need to say something," I whispered. She nodded. "Hazel, I have loved you until the day I met you, and I want to spend the rest of my life with you, if I even make it. Will you make me the happiest man on earth? Hazel Grace Lancaster, will you marry me?"

Hazel's P.O.V

"...will you marry me?" Augustus asked, then closed his eyes. The heart rate thing stopped beeping. It just beeped in one single beep. He was dead. "I do Augustus, I do," I whispered as a tear ran down my cheek. The love of my life had died.
This was the worst and best day of my life. Augustus has proposed, but he died. Before I could say anything, I burst into tears, yelling for a doctor. I screamed and cried.
He was gone.
I would never see him again. I wanted to do something. I wanted to scream forever but I couldn't. I wanted to die in a hole.
When my mom walked in the hospital room she ran over to me and took me to another room while the doctor covered a sheet over his body. I kept screaming. I wanted him back. I didn't want him back. I NEEDED him back. Why did this have to happen to me? I hate my life so damn much. How would I be able to survive without my Gus, by my side.
I was glad that Gus gave me his jacket before I was forced to leave.
I smelled his scent. I loved the smell of him. He smelled like vanilla. I could never smell vanilla again without bursting into a puddle of tears.
I put my hands in the pocket, and felt a note. I opened it up, and thought I should read it at home. I slipped the ring on my finger, admiring its beauty. This must have cost a fortune.
I turned on my phone and stared at my background, crying. It was a picture of Gus and me. I missed his face. I missed his soft kisses. I missed his amazing smell. I miss him so much.
Thanks god. I already have fucking cancer and now you make the love of my life die. I thought. When I got home, my ritual was the same for the next few weeks. Cry, sleep, eat, repeat. Hey that rhymes!
A few weeks later, I felt sick. I ran into the bathroom and puked. I convinced myself I was fine, that is until I threw up again. My mom ran in the bathroom and took me to the hospital. When we got to the doctor I had to wait for a while. I just stared at my phone. Stared at all of the pictures of Gus. God, I missed him so so so so so so so much. I would do anything to get him back. I wish I died too. I would be talking to him right now. We would be laughing about Peter Van Houten and watching our funerals. Why, oh why.
"Hazel?" a doctor asked me. I stood up, my tears dried. She told me to follow her and she led me to a room and told me to sit down on the chair.
I decided to pass the time by looking through my photos; I stared at the adorable picture of Augustus and me. As I was about to cry, a different doctor came in, and he smiled at me. "Hello Hazel, my name is Dr.Gus," No fucking way. I started sobbing, yelling out about how cruel the world can be. I missed Augustus. My mom walked outside with Dr.Gus and explained the situation with Augustus and him dying. Dr.Gus apologized and then took my temperature. And checked my heartbeat. And then asked my mom to leave the room. Gus asked me a series of questions, and it got kind of annoying. The worst was when he asked personal questions. It was just so awkward, especially a guy asking me this!
"Hazel, I will be back in a few minutes, we just want to check to see if anything is wrong," he explained. My mom walked back in and I just sat there, depressed. I started texting Augustus. Maybe he would see my texts. They did bury him with his phone in his suit pocket.
Gus I miss you. I love you.
I sent several texts for the past 15 minutes while we were waiting for Dr.Gus to come back. I have so much to tell Augustus but couldn't form it into sentences.
After my next text, my phone said that Gus had read my text. I dropped my phone on the ground and screamed. My iPhone shattered into multiple pieces before I could do anything or say anything. How did he see my text?
This was unbelievable. My dead future husband saw my text. Maybe I was just hallucinating. I don't know.
I couldn't get over this! There was no possible explanation for a dead person looking at their phone!
No freaking way.
The door slightly opened and I asked the doctor if it was possible for a dead person to see texts. He obviously didn't believe me and now I have no proof since my phone isn't working.
"Hazel, I have more exciting news for you," the doctor said, a smile forming. What could be more shocking than this? I don't think it's possible. I waited for the doctor to answer and before he told me what was so exciting, he asked me a question. "Hazel, may I ask how old you are?" I picked at my dull black fingernails, peeling the ugly nail polish off. "I'm 17," I said nonchalantly. He looked even more shocked. "How?" he whispers to himself. "I'm sorry, but I will be right back," he said, looking confused. I just stared and my broken phone until Dr.Gus came in again. "Hazel, I have amazing news for you," he announced. I looked at my mom then back at the doctor. He had a huge smile on his face that looked fake.
Nothing could make this day even more exciting and strange than it already is. "Hazel, you're 8 weeks pregnant," The words kept echoing in my ears, that is, until I fainted.
I didn't edit this because I wanted to post it as soon as possible. Cliffhanger ooh!! Comment if you think it's a girl or a boy and what it should be named.
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