OK! i need to get my head sorted if i am going to survive this! i mean, really how hard can this possibly be? Very by the looks of things!
I cannot believe that such an organised person like me, can be so delusional right now: and over a guy that i have known since i was three! he's close enough to be my brother! Ugh! enough of those thoughts thank you!
Today is a new day! All Will be fine, i just have to stay away from him and i will be OK!
but my mind has other plans today so when i leave for school this morning, my head turns on auto-pilot and takes me the long way - past his house. I can't help but stare into his widows, scanning for him. And then the most embarrassing thing happens! he opens the door and starts to walk to school with me! My stomach flips and flops and by the time i get to school i have to go to the bathrooms to get a grip on myself!
This is ridiculous. I can't spend the rest of the day like this. I feel , as well as look, terrible now so i decide to pull a sickie and go home.
i head straight to the office once i have gained composure but i am once again stopped in my tracks by the beautiful boy of my dreams in the arms of his ugly bratty girlfriend. My pulse quickens as he notices me standing there. i want to leave but my feet have somehow been super glued to the floor beneath me. The floor that i wish would open up and swallow me whole! Louise waves her goodbyes to him and he comes over. wait.... am ... i? No! i'm blushing! Oh how i would kill to have someone come along and just eat me right now!
He walks over to me with a huge grin on his face. I highly doubt he is smiling because of me.
" are you OK there? you don't look to good." he smiles gently and his eyes shine bright green in the light. " er.... um... yes I'm OK thank you." i manage to splutter and he chuckles. " where are you off to?" " i'm going home. I actually don't feel all that well." Wow where is this confidence coming from?
I walk home feeling flustered and jittery. i slump down on the sofa and read the mizz magazine i brought last week. still daydreaming about him when mum gets home, she asks about school and i lie - telling her it was boring as usual and that i left early today as i had a study free last.
I don't like lying to my mum, but when it comes to this, i know she wouldn't be too impressed. I tell her some lame excuse of feeling ill so they let me go home earl. She didn't like that very much. i don't know how but she some how knows everything about me! i wonder if thats the whole mother daughter realationship thing? oh i don't know but, i can tell she knows something and i dont like it!
so for take 2... that failed! i guess its take three tomorrow.
