Following rules, having respect for your opponents, congratulating the other team's players for their win, or shrugging off losses like ladies and gentlemen.
All of these are the essence of fair play.
Teaching your children these rules of engagement is an ongoing effort on any mother's part. Other parents—those who have worse manners, or who are more competitive than you—can hinder this effort by setting a bad example for their children, who in turn influence your child to break your rules.
At this point, you should pull out the horsewhip. A good beating will keep these parents in line, and prove to be a most influential teaching tool.
*****
"Jeff's game against the Portland Pioneers for the league's Western Conference championship is tied eight all, in the top of the ninth. The winner will play the Eastern Conference champions for the national title.
Needless to say, the crowd is riveted.
I am, too, but not because of Jeff's pitching, or because of the other team's ability to steal bases.
It's because Carl is here, too.
He sauntered over to the ball field around the bottom of the fourth. As he leaned over the fence, Jack, who was cheering Jeff on, grabbed me around the waist and gave it a squeeze.
Carl's fists came together. From our few precious years together, I know that is not a good sign.
For the past hour I've tried, very casually, to detach Jack's arm, but he sticks to me like flypaper.
I am his prize, and he's not letting go.
Now, as Trisha and Mary join us, Carl's gaze moves from the field to the bleachers. His frown deepens as Trisha hops onto Jack's lap.
My tears fog my sunglasses. I can only wonder how I'd feel if I were in his place: watching my family fall in love with my nemesis, my enemy—
But no, Carl, I am not in love with Jack.
Okay, maybe I was, once upon a time.
The crowd erupts into a frenzy as Jeff strikes out the Pioneers' last batter. Pride-filled smiles break out onto the faces of both the men in my life.
All I can do is cry.
*****
"The little princess's Fudgsicle is on me," he says as he hands Abu a dollar.
Trisha knows better than to take ice cream from a stranger, no matter how handsome or blond.
Or even if her dimples come from him.
Instead, she looks over at me for my approval. But before I can give my consent, Jack says, "Sorry, guy. Nice offer, but it sets a bad precedent for our kids."
The tone of his voice says it all: Leave us the hell alone.
Even Mary and Jeff pick up on it. So does Abu, who slides out the back door of his van.
Our kids. Carl's eyes glitter with hate when he hears that from Jack. "Just trying to be neighborly," he murmurs with a smile. He bends down by Trisha, but he's looking up at me. "You want it, don't you, honey?"
Doesn't he see the longing in my eyes?
Jack does.
Before I know it, Jack has punched Carl in the gut.
Carl doubles over in pain. Our children gasp as Jack tosses him onto the ground and puts his heel on Carl's throat, leaving my husband gasping.
As the kids look on in horror, Abu grabs Jack's arms from behind while I shove him off.
"Jack, dude, cool it," Abu murmurs in his ear.
Carl hears him too, and smiles. Abu's cover has been blown.
Thank goodness Carl is one of the good guys.
Hearing Abu's plea, Jack freezes. His chest rises as he takes a deep breath. Finally he moves his foot off Carl's neck.
Then he takes Trisha's hand and walks away. Mary and Jeff trail behind him.
Not me. My legs and heart are leaden. It's as if the whole world has stopped. I want to help my husband, but doing so will give him away. So instead I just stare down at him.
"Donna! Are you coming?"
I look up to see Jack frowning angrily at me. He is already a full block down the street.
I wish he were a million miles away.
No. In truth, after what he just did to Carl, I wish he were dead.
(c) 2011 by Josie Brown. Published by Signal Press. All rights reserved.
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OTHER BOOKS IN THE HOUSEWIFE ASSASSIN SERIES ($4.99 each)
Book 2: The Housewife Assassin's Guide to Gracious Killing
Book 3: The Housewife Assassin's Killer Christmas Tips
Book 4: The Housewife Assassin's Relationship Survival Guide
Book 5: The Housewife Assassin's Vacation to Die For
Book 6: The Housewife Assassin's Recipes for Disaster
Book 7: The Housewife Assassin's Hollywood Scream Play
Prequel: The Housewife Assassin's Deadly Dossier
Book 8: The Housewife Assassin's Killer App
Book 9: The Housewife Assassin's Hostage Hosting Tips
Book 10: The Housewife Assassin's Garden of Deadly Delights
Book 11: The Housewife Assassin's Tips on Weddings, Weapons, and Warfare
Book 12: The Housewife Assassin's Husband Hunting Hints
Book 13: The Housewife Assassin's Ghost Protocol
Book 14: The Housewife Assassin's Terrorist TV Guide
Book 15: The Housewife Assassin's Deadly Dossier (SERIES PREQUEL!!!)
Book 16: The Housewife Assassin's Greatest Hits
Book 17: The Housewife Assassin's Fourth Estate Sale
Book 18: The Housewife Assassin's Horrorscope
Book 19: The Housewife Assassin's White House Keeping Seal of Approval
Book 20: The Housewife Assassin's Assassination Vacation Planner
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The Housewife Assassin's Handbook
Romance#Watty2016 Any woman can be both the perfect housewife and an accomplished assassin, because both functions require the same qualities: creativity; a never-say-die attitude; and an attention to details, no matter how small... ***** All I really need...
