I Have A Brother?

Goodbyes

〰 Learn to let go because not everyone is meant to stay 〰

Today was the funeral precession for my parents. Then it is off to get cremated, as they wished.

In my perspective they should be burning in hell for not really loving me and for leaving a boy and another woman with none of their fortune.

Together, they're parents. My mother always wanted to be called madam. My father always wanted to be addressed as sir. Never by their first names or mom and dad. If I ever did, I would not get what I wanted or needed. That was since I was five.

All throughout life, I felt like a soldier to them, not a human being, or an actual innocent child.

I just wore a black school uniform skirt, black button down collar shirt, and madam's Kate Spade sunglasses. I also had my black Micheal Kors bag.

All morning, the press were on top of me. The press all up on my business was getting to a insufferable level.

"What are your plans after today?"

"Who is your legal guardian at the moment?"

"How much were you earning before your parent's tragic passing?"

No time for that. All questions will be answered when I'm ready.

As of now, I'm not ready.

After the short mass, everything just sped up for me.

Next thing I know, I was in the room ready to pug the button. Twice.

I was the only one in the room.

I had no idea how to feel about this.

At first, I was silent, shaken and scarred. From when the accident happened to the hospital.

Then I was sad. For losing my mother.

After that, I was in denial. I didn't believe that my father was gone. Sadly, he ended up being gone.

Then I just wanted to be alone. Well, not technically alone. I only wanted to be with my grandparents and Percy.

After that I had open arms for my family and friends. I appreciate them being there for me and staying me during this time of abrupt change.

Later on I confronted the press demanding for privacy. And later on my neighbors and I had them kicked out of my building.

Next I felt this anger about how I was held in this cage which I call my entire life.

Lastly, I had this mix of anger and relief because of this sudden freedom and no knowledge of most of the choices given to me that I have to make.

And now I'm here, about to push the button. Twice.

It's the last thing I have to do for them. It's their wish.

"Goodbye mom." I say. Then I push the button.

In a matter of minutes, she becomes ash in a tightly sealed fancy box.

Then, my father's coffin was set up.

I just go to push the button. That's all.

I kissed my father's coffin one last time.

"Bye dad." I said. Then I push the button.

As my father was becoming ash, my eyes were starting to water. I wiped my tears left the room.

Then I went home with both sealed urns.

That was my goodbye.