Piano Days and Other Malec One-Shots

Heaven v. Hell

"Do you ever think about it?" Alec asked softly.

"What?" Magnus asked, pulling Alec back towards him so Alec's back was on his chest. He'd just sat up, and the sudden shift had sent cold air against Magnus' bare chest. Alec had been keeping him warm.

Magnus put his arms around Alec's shoulders, trapping him there. Their legs were tangled and intertwined, just how Magnus liked them: no separation.

"Life after death."

"Technically, there is no 'life after death'; that's a contradiction," Magnus pointed out. Alec didn't bother to say "You know what I mean." He waited patiently for Magnus' response.

"I believe in a heaven and a hell. I've been to hell and I've met Nephilim, the closest thing to angels humanity has. The real angels have to exist somewhere."

"Where do you think you're going?" Alec asked. Magnus exhaled softly, putting his cheek against Alec's head.

"I'm damned, my love."

Alec was silent. Of course he knew that. Had he hoped Magnus would lie? Or justify a future in heaven with his upstanding moral character?

No. Magnus was no saint, and he knew it. The demon blood coursing through his veins was only a part of his damnation. He swore, he slept around before Alec, he drank, he partied, he lived recklessly, and he was a strong proponent of revenge served freezing cold. Topping that like a sundae of sin was his raging bisexuality.

God could forgive, but he couldn't allow a demon into heaven.

"And what about me?" Alec asked.

God could forgive, and he'd always let an angel in.

"You're too pure for hell," Magnus reasoned. "You save people, you protect this world, and that's just what you do for your job. You've managed to live with me for the last couple of years which makes you a true saint. You love wholeheartedly."

"But, that means we won't be together."

Ahh, now you've pieced it all together.

"No, I don't think we'll be together when it's all said and done."

"Then it won't really be heaven," Alec concluded, looking up at Magnus. "My perfect world doesn't exist without you. You're my everything."

"Maybe you'll get a holographic, less-annoying version of me," Magnus reasoned. His joke fell flat, Alec's gaze was unwavering.

"I'm serious."

"I know," Magnus breathed.

His little angel, far too caring for his own good.

"Everything just got a lot worse," Alec mumbled. "The whole death thing. I mean, this is really all we have."

He was going to send himself into a panic. "Alexa--"

"You've thought about this, haven't you?" Alec asked, twisting away from Magnus. "You realized this and--" The rest of his sentence disappeared in a huff of air. "How do you live with such horrible thoughts?"

"Life goes on, Alec. It's indifferent to our feelings. We cannot stop death. We don't even know if there is a heaven or a hell or if it's just Edom. We don't know. But what I do know is that I have you here, right now, and enjoying this time, creating these memories with you, it has to be enough to keep me going after you're gone, after I'm gone, wherever my conscience or my soul ends up. It has to."

Alec pressed his pretty little lips together, and his forehead wrinkled in frustration.

Magnus found it all too adorable, his smile breaking the seriousness of the mood.

But maybe that's what they really needed: a distraction in the moments like these.

"Stop smiling," Alec said, unable to keep a straight face.

"I'm sorry, but when you pout, you look like a toddler and it's adorable," Magnus gushed. "Are we done with depressing topics that ruin the mood?"

"Yes," Alec agreed, falling back against Magnus once again.

Magnus' fingers played with Alec's hair as he tried to picture Alec's heaven: Magnus as the main attraction, but his family also there. All of them together, laughing and enjoying one another. To live that for eternity wouldn't be the worst thing in the world.

Then he thought about his own hell. What would it be? What would it look like? No doubt, Alec would be there.

Just not in the way he'd like.