Torn!!

Alone again!!

Me and Louis was talking in his dressing room the same dressing room he left me 6 months ago, I couldn't help but sob a little as the memory came back to me

Louis: Sky please don't cry

Me: how can I not I know what's coming, I lost you 6 months ago and then I lost Ashton bc I still love you and now you have Maisie and I can't go through it again Louis I'm sorry

I walked out of the room with tears in my eyes all I remember is Louis's face he was so upset but I didn't wanna get hurt by him again, after the girls spent a few hours with the other lads while I went home and cried

***

4 hours later

*beep beep*

I got woke up by my phone I had a text it was an number that I hadn't saved to my phone so I opened it, it read:

'Sky I'm sorry for everything I've done I'm on tour I won't be back for 3 months, I don't want you to wait for me after everything you said tonight about that you didn't wanna see me again and how much I hurt you I've gone back to Maisie, I will always love you Sky. I wish it was you coming on tour with me but it's not just be happy Sky <3 love yours forever BooBear xx'

I was so angry and upset I can't believe he's gone back to her if he loved me then he would be here with me but no he's with her. I just throw my phone at the other side of the room and cried so hard, I love him so much but he's with her and not me.

***

20 minutes later

*knock knock*

Alicia: Sky can we come in

Me: go away

Georgia: please Sky

Me: I wanna be alone

I didn't wanna be alone I wanted to have my friends with me I was so hurt and upset.

Hafsah: Sky we know that's not true, were coming in

I never said anything and the door opened and the girls came in but I had my back to them a faced the wall, I wasn't being ignorant I just looked a mess. I felt someone touch my shoulder I turned my head it was Amy and I saw Mahira pick my phone up and I saw her eyes scanning my phone.

Mahira: Oh Sky I'm so sorry

Amy: what what is it?!

Mahira handed my phone to Amy and she was in shock, she came close and hugged me and tears streamed down my face even more, Mahira started reading the text from Louis and I cried even more he was my life and he left me for someone else, I didn't wanna live without him he was my everything.

Georgia: Sky I'm I'm so sorry

Alicia: is there anything we can do

Me: can you just stay with me please

Hafsah: of course we are here for you and we love you

Me: I love you all too

I burst out crying even more now, I just wanted to die I was nothing with out him.

***

1 o'clock in the morning

I had just woke back up from crying myself to sleep to see all the girls asleep, I climbed out of bed and climbed over the trying not to wake them I walked into the bathroom and looked in the mirror I was a messed I cleaned my face and went to the toilet, then my eyes darted over a the razor on the side of the bath. I picked it up and broke it open and took the blade out and grabbed a towel and sat on the toilet lid, I made sure the door was locked as I took the razor and cut into my wrist drawing blood. I felt a little bit relived and a shot of pain up my arm, it only lasted a few seconds so I cut into my wrist again which drew more blood it was such a relief, I cut into my wrist two more times and the threw the razor in the sink and covered my wrist with the towel and I got a bandage out of the cabinet, I washed my wrist and covered it with the bandage and I saw the blood come through so I redressed it and then covered the bandage with a load of my bracelets and walked back into my room and into bed. I made sure all the girls were still asleep and I took out my phone and looked at some photos of me and Louis and then I feel asleep.