Lost - Clexa (#Wattys2016)

Chapter 14

AN: It would be most unfair of me to start off the new chapter without thanking you amazing people! Another 100+ votes since I posted the last chapter. Damn, you guys are awesome! Sorry for being later than the due date for the chapter. My beta also happens to have a life and therefore took some time. So without further due, here is your chapter:

LOST – CHAPTER 14

Clarke had become a light sleeper since she had landed on Earth, since she had lost the sense of safety and protection. So when Lexa came back in, Clarke's eyes fluttered open but she closed them again, pretending to be asleep. She held her breath, waiting for the Commander to spot her on her bed. After a few moments, she opened her eyes a little and found the Commander looking down at her. Clarke could see how tired Lexa looked. She was about to make Lexa aware that she was awake and get up when she saw, through the slits of her lids, the Commander bend forward, then felt Lexa over her body. Clarke froze. Lexa hovered over her a moment, as if hesitating, then quickly retracted and sat on the edge on the mattress.

Clarke frowned; she knew Lexa was no longer looking at her. She opened her eyes completely and saw that Lexa was looking very intently at something in her hands. Clarke lifted slightly her head to get a better angle at the woman, peeked and her stomach dropped. It was her sketchbook. She contemplated announcing her woken state again to take the book back before any damage was done but, just as she was about to do so, Lexa's expression stopped her. Lexa had a small smile playing on her lips and her eyes showed...admiration. She was enjoying Clarke's work. Clarke watched mesmerized as Lexa's fingers turned the next page. She knew what she'd find there – her own self with her father, smiling. She'd find the old Clarke; the Clarke that didn't experience the ground, the Clarke that wasn't changed by loss...the Clarke that Lexa didn't get to meet. She wanted to rip off the sketchbook from Lexa's hands but didn't. Instead she watched as Lexa took in the picture, took in a piece of her soul. Lexa was still smiling widely as she got to the next page. Then the smile quickly disappeared.

Her eyes were now wide, filled with something Clarke couldn't quite define from her position on the bed. But from the tension of her body, Clarke guessed Lexa had been taken off guard, hadn't expected to find drawings that resonated with her. Clarke felt vulnerability there; the woman, who was feared in all the lands, looked so fragile. So broken. So conflicted. A glassy layer of water formed in Lexa's eyes and she quickly blinked them away. She then took a shaky breath and turned another page. Clarke knew she hoped to find something that would distract her from grief. And it did.

The look in her eyes, combined with the crease of her brows, changed from vulnerability to anger to fear. These were the only emotions Clarke could easily read but she could see a storm of more of them in the girl's eyes.

Lexa got up to leave but Clarke grabbed her wrist half way. She couldn't let her leave, couldn't let her hide herself again. She couldn't pretend she didn't know what happened tonight, like Clarke knew Lexa was planning to do. She pulled her back on the bed and, cupping her tear soaked face, kissed her gingerly, chastely. Clarke broke the kiss and moved back a bit to observe the Commander who had her eyes closed, probably still getting over the surprise. But Clarke wasn't going to let Lexa slip away from her, not this time. When the green eyes looked into hers, she opened her mouth to say what she wanted from Lexa but Lexa didn't need words; it was all in Clarke's eyes for Lexa to see. Understanding filled Lexa's and she dipped her head lightly.

She slowly got up from the bed and Clarke watched her light up all the candles around them, patiently. Silence filled the room until Lexa reached the last candle.

"When I was younger, I used to be scared of fire." Lexa spoke up.

"I used to be too. I mean, it is scary." Clarke said, smiling, and recalling her childhood.