Greyscale [✓]

Chapter 16

CHAPTER SIXTEEEN

Hannah's fingers tapped lightly against her desk as she sat in her maths class the following day. Yesterday had passed by in a blur, the shock of everything going straight to her head. She had gone home from school and fell onto the sofa, falling asleep in her uniform with her shoes still on. It was easier to sleep than accept what had happened.

But today she was feeling better, her mind more level-headed. Although it made something inside her feel like she was wilting, there was a tiny part of her that was glad to get rid of both Gabriel and Ashlyn from her life. They weren't worthy of being in it, as Cam had told her that morning over breakfast, milk from his cereal dribbling down his chin.

She had tried to maintain a smile throughout the day but was exhausted already. Thankfully, maths was almost over. Lunch time couldn't come fast enough!

As soon the bell rang, she sprung up from her chair, long raven hair billowing out from behind her. She strode towards the door with a quick 'see you later' at Mohammad and avoided everyone who looked like they were about to talk to her. She didn't want to talk to anyone except for her cousin. Despite being somewhat relieved to be free of the social shackles she was previously in, her confidence had taken a knock.

If Ashlyn – her closest friend – had never really liked her, then surely it was a possibility that nobody did.

With a heart that felt like it was being squeezed, she made her way outside. Nobody really sat outside for lunch at Pemrose Private School; it was quiet and cold. Just like she liked it. Shooting a quick text to Cam to come and meet her, she shuffled around in her bag until she found her lunch. Hannah settled down on one of the deserted benches and slowly began to eat, twirling her fork around the spaghetti with a barely audible sigh.

Ever since Ashlyn had first taken her under her wing at the age of twelve, Hannah's life had been consistent and she'd had the exact same group of friends for years. Her school life had been her rock, the thing that had kept her grounded against the negativity that swept in from her mother. It was what made her feel normal.

But now it felt like it had come falling down; slowly at first and then like a hurricane, it all crashed to the ground in a cloud of dust.

She didn't know what to do with herself without her friends. All she really had was Cameron. And even he was acting a little strange recently, coming home later than usual and spending half the time typing on his phone.

Her heart felt heavy: what if he too grew bored of her?

What if she was as useless as her mother had always spat?

She'd never really paid any notice to the way her mother would ignore her or raise her nostrils whenever she had to look at her daughter, as though Hannah was a bad smell that needed to go. She had never cared that her mother had hated her. But now, doubt had planted in her mind and it was all she could focus on. Why? Why did Jasmine hate her so much? Who was her father and what had he done so terrible that she couldn't bear the sight of her own child?

Thankfully, soft footsteps padding along the grass brought her out of her daydreams. Startled, she looked up – it was Rayne. Although she'd been in some of the same classes as him for years and spent enough time with him recently to know him, it took a few seconds for the recognition to hit.

He was usually always wearing a scruffy black beanie on his head, the front of it pulled down to just resting on his eyebrows. But his head was bare today, strands of his hair flying up in the slight wind.

"Er, hi?" he said, coming to a standstill beside her. He didn't look so sure of himself, as though he didn't really know why he had come outside to talk to her.

Hannah didn't acknowledge his greeting, instead staring at his hair. "Maple syrup," she muttered, much to his confusion. "Maple syrup."

His face contorted in bewilderment. "What?!"

Hannah shook her head slightly and managed a small, genuine smile. "Sorry, didn't realise what I was saying. It's just, well, I don't think I've seen your hair before properly. Anyone ever told you that it's the colour of maple syrup?"

He laughed at that, surprise filtering in through the soft sound. With a raise of his hand to touch the top of his head, he shook it. "It's just brown, nothing special."

Hannah nodded and then turned to look inside the grand lunch hall through the large glass windows. She could see Ashlyn and Gabriel sitting in the centre on their usual table, her former best friends arms tightly wrapped around him.

"What are you doing out here?" she murmured, watching her friends all laugh and talk without her.

He shrugged his shoulders in the too-large school blazer although she wasn't looking. "Dunno really. Just wanted to see how you are, I guess?"

Hannah raised her head, her topaz eyes brightening. Apart from Cam and Mohammad who had called her in the middle of the night to check up on her, nobody else really noticed. "Thank you," she said, loud and clear, her cheeks dimpling a little.

Rayne shuffled his feet awkwardly, his worn black trainers rubbing against the dirt. "S'alright," he replied, seemingly shy all of a sudden. "Do you wanna work on our essay soon? We haven't got long left."

Closing the box of her homemade pasta and carefully placing it inside her bag, she nodded. "Yeah, sure, that'll be fine. Where should we meet up?"

"Well, I could come over to yours if you'd like?"

Hannah's eyes widened, clearly remembering Ashlyn's expression when she had walked through her living room. She didn't want to go through that judgement again. "Could I come over to yours instead?" she asked somewhat desperately, the words tumbling out of her peach painted lips.

Rayne looked uncomfortable and although she knew she had offended him, she ignored it. He nodded slowly. "Er, yeah, I guess so if you'd like? Um, hang on, I'll give you my address," he answered, shuffling through his bag to find a scrap paper. He scribbled his address on it and handed it over quickly, as though touching her would burn him. She felt terrible – knowing perfectly well that he assumed she didn't want him over because he was scholarship kid and it would ruin her reputation. If only he knew that the truth couldn't be further!

The bell rang in the distance and Hannah hopped up from the bench she was sitting on. "I'll see you soon then." With a nod goodbye, she was gone, floating to the doors and blending into the crowd.

And once again, Rayne was left feeling partly insulted at her reaction but also, partly in awe at the way she carried herself despite how hurt he knew she was.