A Life Not Worth Living

Cold Memories and Warm Embraces

I am now coiled up against the warm body, letting there warmth engulf my shivering frame. I was half-conscious... I knew I was a sleepy state but my mind was still aware of my surroundings. I took this gladly; as for once I have not been sent to a deep and dark sleep on the ground with new scars forming on my wreck I call my body. I was pulled back from my re-awakening dream by the shuffling of the anchor that is giving me hope in my dark abyss called life. The body sighed and I could feel their muscles de-clench underneath me and them fall into a deep sleep. I was now eager to know who has given my comfort, but the pain in my leg and arms simply bought helpless tears to my eyes whenever I even thought of moving. So I guess I'm stuck here until I am forced to move. 

Suddenly I remembered all the bad 'incidents' (as Madame and Sir Glasteo would put it...) and they flooded into my mind. Every smack, punch, kick, push, and the one time... I can't even think of it. I....... Got raped.

I was 16, Sir Glasteo had a couple of drinks previously and obviously wasn't attracted to the 51 year old Madame Glasteo. He had pushed me into a cabinet- a bit like earlier (or yesterday... depending on how long my semi-conscious mind has been talking to me) and I had hurt my hands. But he insisted on getting what he wanted. He had ripped my shreds of dress and my pants, and attacked me. He had forced his lips to mine, and when I refused to let his foul tongue snake down my throat, he slapped me and forced my hands above my head. I had screamed hoping to get the attention of someone, even if it was his wife, but he put his alcohol smelling hand over my mouth and started the most horrific, traumatic and terrible think I have ever experienced. It hurt, hurt so much, and each time he went in he moaned in pleasure as I screamed in agony. I remember screaming at him to stop, begging for the pain to end. He carried on soaking his sorrows in something he hadn't done in a while. I was fighting against the two hands against my mouth and hands, in hope that he had had enough and just beat me. But he carried on digging into me with such force that I swear I was going to just give up. But I didn't. I just cried and hoped that he would finish with me soon. It was starting to hurt less inside me- and at one point I was starting to find pleasure, but I told myself 'no' and let my body grow limp in the cruel man arms. He kissed me, forced his entrance into my mouth again whilst moaning deeply when I was still sobbing with my eyes closed tightly. 

After about half an hour he was done with me, and he just walked off and I fell to the floor. I carried on crying for god knows how long.

"Are you OK?" She that voice with no name. I opened my mouth in some chance to answer 'no! I just had a nightmare of my rape!' but all that escaped from my dry mouth was a small squeek which was garnished by one falling tear.

"Shhh...." The male souding voice said in reply to my unspoken answer. I tried my best to put the question 'who are you' into my eyes, knowing I would not be able to speak for a while.

"I am Xavier Thomas. You're long lost brother. I... Escaped with Dad and we have lived nearby untill you needed help. At thats now. Our father, Allan Thomas, has looked over you for years. This is the first time I have ever met my sister. And how do I find her? Lying half dead on the basement floor with about 6 broken bones." He sighed and gave me a hug. "I'll save you." He whispered almost to himself as he liften me awkwardly and painfully and ran to the front door. "DAD! I GOT HER!"

I have a family.

A tear escaped from my dry eyes, the first time in my life I have ever been happy, and I am glad I shared it with my brother. Xavier..... was my last thought before I slipped into a happy dream of love and hope.