I dont even know what to name this..

11.5K 254 298
                                    

Okay.. I guess all of you know I'm a depressed 16 year old teen. Someone's child, obviously. But I don't know if I'm really me, I have to wear a mask for everyone. I do it because I don't want to stress out my family or friends, or even you guys. Truthfully, I'm downright fucking depressed. All I hear is "oh just get over it" or "go to therapy" or "take meds", well it's kinda hard to fucking get over when I'm reminded of it everytime I look in the mirror. Therapy doesn't work for me because of my social anxiety and I don't tell people my problems. And "take meds", no to me, that's a fake fucking happy. I don't wanna take meds to "be happy", I wanna be happy on my own. Truthfully, I've been depressed since I was 6 fucking years old. A fucking 6 year old child is depressed, it's fucked isn't it? I wish I could just "get over it", but it's been ongoing for 10 fucking years. The worst part? No one noticed. Not one damn person asked if I was okay, I was the kid in the background, away from everyone else because I was/am afraid of rejection. It's kinda upsetting that my dad couldn't even see that his own child was slowly dying. Honestly, I'm dead on the inside. I just don't care anymore, sometimes I wish someone would come along and just kill me. I would fucking thank them. I'm tired of being me, I can't keep up with this charade of me being "happy". Because I'm fucking not. I don't even know what it feels like anymore. The worst part in all of this? I'm alone, my "friends" left me after they found out I was a cutter. Yeah, I have you guys but you can't be here physically when I need you.. I love each and everyone one of you, even if we've never talked. I'm sorry I'm not what everyone thought I was, a happy person. I'm sorry for this depressing chapter, I'm sorry for the long waits for updates, I'm sorry. I don't know what to do anymore, I'm not suicidal so I guess you don't have to worry about that. I'm sorry for I guess worrying you guys? But I really needed to let this out.

CreepyPasta boyfriend Scenarios! -COMPLETED-Where stories live. Discover now