The Smart Kid

Chapter 19 - Philosophies

Michael struggled to drag his suitcase and duffle bag into his dorm room. He held them at his side and surveyed the small room.

Archibald Schneider lay on his bed, reading. He looked up and pushed himself up on his elbows. "Who are you?"

Michael dropped his bags on the floor and, with feigned confidence, said, "I'm Michael Shale, your new roommate."

"How old are you?"

"I'm eighteen," said Michael.

"No shit? Wow! You look like you're twelve," said Archibald.

"Well I'm not!"

"Man, that is hard to believe. I mean you really, really look like you belong in elementary school."

"I know how I look. At least I'm not named after a comic book character, Archie."

Archibald threw the covers back as he jumped out of bed, rushed toward Michael, and faced him, only inches away. Michael was taller than him.

"You're a—"

"Whoa, Short Stop! You were gonna say dwarf or little person. Right?"

"Um, yes."

"Good, Michael. Then I think we're going to get along swell. Our only problem will be reaching the top shelf in the closet!"

Archibald smiled at his new roomie.

-------------------

One gloomy day, during their first week together, Michael and Archie strolled across campus.

Two tall men passed. "Hey look! The midget convention is in town!"

"Damn! I wish people wouldn't do that to me all the time," moaned Michael.

"Don't worry about it. It's just a result of us being unique and them being ordinary."

Michael frowned.

"For out of the abundance of the heart, the mouth speaks," said Archie, glancing at Michael.

"What does that mean?"

"It means that you can discern anyone's true nature by the things they say. What's really inside of them will eventually come out. So you can see everyone's deficiency, even if it isn't physical."

"I've never considered that everyone has a deficiency. I thought I was the one who was different." Michael kicked at a stone on the sidewalk and watched it roll off the edge.

"Different is OK. But being bad, is bad. Having a unique appearance shows you how self-centered people are," said Archibald, the philosopher.

Michael stopped and turned to face Archie, still feeling the novelty of looking down to talk with a friend. "You mean, because we're different on the outside, we're able to see inside people?"

"Now you're getting it," said Archie. "Our uniqueness reveals their badness."

"OK, I get that. What I've learned so far is that some students are just plain rude." He surveyed the campus grounds, as if he were accusing everyone in sight.

They began walking again.

"I'm used to it. I've lived with it my whole life," Archie said, waddling beside Michael.

"How do you handle it?"

"Don't accept other people's judgements of you. Deflect and misdirect. And if some guy continues to be an ass, kick him in the nuts! We're so short, there's no way to defend themselves. And in the court of public opinion, people always side with the underdog." Archie shrugged. "So that's my philosophy of life."