Rebel (Civil War Period)

Chapter 17..

13th March 1865

I had been oblivious to believe that everything would become alright so easily. The war is still going on, and even though the Confederates seem to lose, Jasper will fight on. I hate myself for loving him for exactly that.

I am so glad that he accepted his children so readily. Furthermore, he even loves them. I can tell it from the look in his eyes. Jasper longs for a family, but he will never be able to let go of the army as long as a war is going on.

He is currently putting our children to bed, and I decided to use these few minutes to write. One day, when I find the time, I will write everything of my life down, and I will not spare any detail of this war in the process. Who else will be able to write an account of the Civil War, if not the woman who lived on both fronts?

...§...

Georgiana's P.O.V.

"Will you promise me something?" I asked into the darkness as I rested my head against Jasper's bare chest. Our bodies were heated from the love making, and I could almost believe that everything would truly be alright. Almost.

"I will try."

I propped myself up on one elbow and looked down on my husband. "Promise me you will come back. Alive."

"Georgiana, my love, you know it is not in my power to decide that."

"It is. You have survived five years at the front, you will for the time it takes for this bloody war to finally be over."

Jasper sighed. "I promise."

Even though I knew he could not influence it, I felt relieved. I had the utmost faith in Jasper's abilities, and I knew he would come back. He would not die, not him.

Jasper gently pulled me into his arms again, and with the sense of being protected I fell asleep.

When I awoke from the sun shining into my face, I heard unusual sounds coming to my ears. Strange bird calls, and a rushing sound, mingled with the muffled noise of people on the streets. I inhaled deeply, and the air tasted salty and clean... I opened my eyes, seeing Jasper leaning on the window sill, overlooking the sea and the street before our house. It was the first time I saw his bare chest in the sunlight, and I only now noticed the fine pattern of faded scars across his back.

For minutes, I only laid there motionless, adoring my husband. Then I rose, wrapped a silken robe around me and joined him.

"I'll leave today, Georgiana."

I nodded, swallowing down my despair. "When will you come back?"

"As soon as I can make it. When the war's over, the latest."

I did not even bother to argue again, not wanting to spoil the last moments we had before our parting. Instead, I smiled and asked: "Breakfast?"

He answered my smile and we both got dressed, then retrieved our children from their beds to walk down for breakfast. As we ate, and I watched Jasper holding his daughter in his arms, I did my best not to think about what he put at risk. The mere thought of him never returning was unbearable. I wondered why I only feared it now - the possibility had been there before.

Felicity made a sound that resembled a laughter, and I chuckled, too, at the sight of the tiny child in the arms of the tall, muscular soldier. "She has your eyes." Jasper remarked with a blissful smile at his daughter.

Indeed she had. "Just like John has yours." I swallowed down yet another plea for him to stay. Why fight a lost battle?

Jasper turned to the servant who cleared the table. "Tell Robert to get my horse ready." Once we were alone again, he said softly, answering my worried look: "Georgiana, love. Everything will be alright. I will come back to you."