DESTINED

Chapter Twenty One

I finally closed a social studies book I borrowed from the library the other day and let it sit beside me. It’s one of those distractions I was able to come up with; it wasn’t a great help though. It kept my mind occupied, yes. But I did not understand a thing, well maybe except for some known dilemma our society faces that has been repeated over and over again.

I leaned back on the bench and focused my attention to some group of students passing by the area. Seems like the prickling heat of the sun doesn’t burn them enough to ride the AFU jeepney; they’re even having an animated conversation that made me quite envious. It’s been years since I walked along the roads of AFU while enjoying small chat with my friends. And I missed it.

But not as much as I miss Kester. Because nothing in this world would I miss more than him.

I heaved a deep sigh.

If only this AFU my feet steps on right now belongs to that same year he’s in college, maybe I won’t be staying idle in this little bench outside our dorm thinking how he was after I left. I could have gone out the premises during breaks just to meet him and have fun dates together or I could have called him every now and then, just to check how he was and ask if he misses me even though I know he does. Then I could hear him calling me his ‘princess’, and I’ll giggle under his warm hug.

But of course, life is cruel. It let’s you taste and savour sweetness for a minute, without you knowing that later, bitterness will be for an hour. Just like what happened to me. Months of pure bliss then in just a single pop, I was given only one choice: to shut and leave my happiness behind the closet’s door.

I kicked a leaf that fell out of the tree and rested on the very top of my shoe. I watched it dance in the air for a few seconds and fall once again in a slow motion, with a soft thud in the grassy ground.

If only I could be the same with that tiny leaf that whenever life carries me up above the ground, I could go with the flow without worries at the back of my head... and when it decides to drop me so suddenly, I’ll land with a soft thud on someone’s arms and it won’t hurt even a bit.

But I guess that would just forever stay as a dream because the person that I expect to catch me when I fall is years apart from me. He wouldn’t be able to give me cushion because he won’t even know that I fell. He might even have forgotten everything about me. That’s how time plays as a distance. Agonizing. And it eventually zeroes out your hope because the distance is just too long to conquer with feelings.

My thoughts were suddenly interrupted.

I abruptly turned my head to the left to glance back at the road and someone was walking along the sidewalk. His head was bent down that all I could see aside from his cheek was his lashes perfectly curved up like a woman’s, his hands found its way to his jeans pocket, his messy brown hair turned slightly golden thanks to the sun’s light, and his long legs strided like he was some kind of runway model.

I found myself gaping at his side view perfection. And I hated myself for it because I knew who he was. Though he didn’t wear that accountancy jacket today, he was obviously that professor Jazz and Liza were head over heels for and that same professor who hugged Llana in the middle of the soccer field. It’s been months since then but I’m quite keen to details that I could easily identify people I’ve seen before so easily.

I blinked thrice and focused my sight as my head turned ninety degress just to follow his figure making it’s way down the road. And after a few more seconds, he already disappeared through the nearest building found in the area.

I couldn’t believe what I just saw. Has he always been like that? I never imagined him before to be that gorgeous but today was different. His side view was so perfect, I couldn’t find a reason why the front won’t be. Or was it just the sun’s light that made that model like effect on him?