Where the Willows Weep

The Right Direction

Chapter 16: The Right Direction

Avery

I cried. For the first time in years I've broken my cardinal rule and cried. All the suppressed emotions held within me came seeping out through the salty wetness trailing down my face and in front of Noah no less. And it was okay. Refreshing even. And just like that Noah has managed to take another weight off of my shoulders.

He didn't leave. My pains and sorrows were opened up and laid out before him like a book and he didn't leave. He knows about my mother and the burden that I bear and yet these things didn't scare him away the way I thought they would. There's one thing I've known about Noah from the very start, the thing that has kept me from confiding in him completely up until this point, and that's that he doesn't like complications. And what could I be considered other than one big complication? I never thought he would see me differently than this and yet it seems he does.

Long after the tears dry out and I'm left shaky and exhausted, Noah stays. We sit side by side, a slight distance that neither of us are quite ready to broach just yet, but that's okay. Like Noah told me earlier, we have time. Time has always been an enemy to me, something to be feared, but perhaps with Noah something good can come from it.

"Are you cold?" he asks, breaking the comfortable silence in which we'd been sitting. The sun has already started to set and it steals the warmth from the air as it goes.

"A little," I reply. I'm cold, but I'm afraid to admit to it and be forced to break the fragile moment Noah and I have existed in for the last few hours.

"Do you want to go in?" he asks, but I can see that he wants to stay here, too.

"Can we just stay for a little while longer?" I implore and he nods.

"We can stay as long as you want."

And so we do. We sit and we talk and at times we just remain in silence. And it's nice, so nice to not be alone. For once my mind isn't spinning with a million thoughts and the ache in my chest has subsided for the time being. With the absence of these two things I find myself unable to keep my tired eyes open. I've hardly slept in days, but now with Noah by my side I feel safe enough to close my eyes. My head becomes too heavy to hold and I rest it on Noah's shoulder without thinking. He wraps his strong arm around me and sleep finally finds me in his embrace.

I wake to a gentle rocking as Noah lifts me in his arms and carries me into the house. There's mumbled conversation as he must talk to my mom, but I'm still practically asleep and don't catch most of it. Then I feel him carry me up the stairs and place me into my bed. Thinking I'm fully asleep he pulls the covers down and tucks me in with a gentleness I didn't know he possessed. I feel his warm breath on my face as he hovers above me and then hesitantly leans down, pressing his lips to my forehead.

Noah leaves, shutting the door behind him. His absence leaves a coldness behind him, but the spot on my head where his soft lips had been warms me down to my toes. With a smile on my face I turn over and drift back to sleep.

* * *

In the morning I wake to a text from Noah.

Noah: Going to School?

In spite of myself I smile. I wasn't planning on going, no matter how much my mother's been hounding me, but knowing Noah will be there waiting makes it seem not so unbearable.

Me: Do I have to?

Noah: I'll pick you up in twenty.

True to his word twenty minutes later I watch from my bedroom window as Noah's jeep turns into the driveway. My feet carry me swiftly down the stairs as my heart flutters in my chest a strange pattern. I slide into a stop, my momentum carrying me forward, when I spot my mother seated at the kitchen table with a knowing smile on her face. She hasn't been out of her bed in days. Maybe I've chosen the right day to leave for a little bit after all.