Where the Willows Weep

Little Did I Know

Chapter 15: Little Did I Know

Noah

My fingers drum incessantly on my desk, agitation pouring out of me. The only thing I keep thinking is that I wish I could go back to the peace-filled drive with Avery the other night. Little did I know then it was the last time things would ever be simple. 

Since then I found out my best friend is supposedly doing drugs. After leaving Lacey's on Sunday I went directly to see Ryan. When I brought up the pills Lacey found in his bag he somehow managed to turn it into a joke. I should've known I wouldn't get a straight answer from him, but I at least hoped my conversation with him would reassure me. However, by the time I left reassured was the last thing I was. And yet what could I do about it? I hadn't seen him take anything and he wouldn't admit to it, so how was I supposed to help him? I was still working that one out for myself.

Since then I'd been antsy and easily frustrated, but I couldn't help feeling excitement knowing that I was going to see Avery in school Monday. However, she wasn't in her first period class or at lunch and the longer I went without seeing her the more agitated I became. Maybe she just had a cold or something, but her absence disturbed me unexplainably. 

Now I sit in last period, eyes watching the students still streaming into the room, hoping one will be her. None of them are, though, and so I settle into my desk and wait for the period to drag by.  

It does eventually and I sigh in relief with the sound of the final bell. Ryan follows me out, humming obnoxiously loud as he does. Apparently he isn't fazed by the drug accusations from the day before. I don't know whether to feel relieved or even more concerned. 

"Give me a ride home?" he says and I nod. 

We drive in silence...well, sort of. Neither of us talk, but Ryan does sing along to the radio. Instead of singing the words to the songs like a normal person, though, he sings out the drum parts and other background music in a ridiculously loud fashion. The noise grates on my nerves until I drop him off and am left in a real silence this time. It's only after the loud energy Ryan provides is gone that I realize how deafening the quiet can be. 

It gets to the point that I can't take it any more and grab my phone without thinking and dial Avery's number. It rings and rings until I hear Avery's voice, sweet and yet tired-sounding, saying to leave a message. Then there's the beep and nothing left to do, but speak into the silence knowing that there will be no reply.

"Hey, Av, it's Noah. I was just calling to see what you were up to. Call me back if you're bored and want to go for a drive or something," I say and then hang up. 

I spend the next few hours pacing around my house, bored out of my mind, and trying not to look desperate by checking my phone every two seconds. I'm so antsy I don't even bother taking out my guitar today. I attempt to watch TV for a little while, something I never do, but after only a couple minutes I get up and start wandering through my house again. 

My phone rings and I snatch it up so quickly it almost flies right out of my fingers. When I answer, though, it's not exactly the voice I was hoping to hear, which makes me feel strangely guilty for some reason.