Where the Willows Weep

Drunken Mistakes

                                           Chapter 10: Drunken Mistakes

                                                                  Avery

I have no idea what I was possibly thinking. Agreeing to go to a party? Hanging out with Noah's friends? That was so unlike me, well unlike this me. The me prior cancer would have jumped at the chance to be wild. While I was definitely anxious about meeting Noah's friends, especially considering I was pretty sure they all hated me already, I was more nervous about being at a place so full of temptations. They were never something I handled well. Since I'd left Georgia I'd been able to stay away, but now because of Noah I was about to be tested. If he knew my past he wouldn't make me go. I knew that and yet I wasn't ready to share something so personal. I could've said no and stuck to it, but how could I with that pleading look in Noah's eyes? I was anxious to go, but I was also a little bit flattered to have been asked.

All because I was dreading Friday, the week flew by in the blink of an eye. Every other week dragged on like summer in a dessert, but of course this week couldn't be the same. While there was an undercurrent of anxiety running through my days, the week itself was actually not so bad. Noah continued being there, talking and teasing me, and it made school almost bearable. I already owed him more than I wanted to. Mostly, I tried not to think about that because if I did then I'd push him away. I hated owing anything, but even more I hated being alone.

 And then it was Friday. I still hadn't found the courage to tell my mom the plans for the night and my time was limited. It wasn't that I was scared she would say no, but actually the opposite. She'd be excited I was going out, too excited. She'd managed not to bring up Noah too many times the past week, but I knew the curiosity was killing her. She thought we were dating and I still didn't know how to tell her we weren't. Tonight was only going to make it worse.

"Mom?" I say hesitantly. Her eyes lift to mine, a beautiful smile crossing her lips. Out of all the traits to inherit from a parent, I wish that my mother's smile was one I had gotten.

"Yes, Gracie?"

"Is it alright if I, uh, go out tonight?" I ask in a jumbled rush of words.

"With Noah?" she questions with a thoughtful look.

"Um, yeah. He's taking me to some party just for a little while. I won't be real late," I say.

"Of course you can go. Just be careful, okay?" she replies immediately, not even a moment of hesitation. She trusts me so much it hurts sometimes.

"Would you...would you help me find something to wear?" The pure excitement on her face is almost enough to be happy I chose to go tonight.

The next half hour is spent with her digging through my closets and drawers, trying to find one nice thing for me to wear. The problem we find is that all my clothes are old. My mom was always the one that took me shopping for new things. She was the one that was excited to spend hours finding the things that would make me look best. Personally, I wasn't a fan of shopping. Once she got sick and wasn't able to go with me any more, I guess I just didn't go either. And now the majority of my clothes have tiny holes worn into them or hang loosely off my willowy frame.

After going through almost every single article of clothing in my room and still being no closer to having something to wear, I was ready to call Noah and tell him I couldn't go after all. My mom wasn't having this, though, and instead moved us to her room. Is it sad that my mother has nicer clothes than I do? After perusing just a moment she comes out with a lacey red shirt a million times sexier than any piece of clothing I own.