I Lied When I Said I Was Okay (frerard)

part 20- the memories.

hey wallnuts! sorry for the shortness >< ny the way, if you havn't checked out my new frerard "THE FOREST" yet, please do ♥

enjoy!!! :)

Frank and I got out of the door, holding hands.

"Where do you want to go?" I asked him and kissed his cheek. Suddenly, he stopped. "What's wrong?" I frowned and flung an arm over him. "Hm?" he looked up at me with big puppy eyes, grabbing my shirt collar and pulling me down.. He then pulled me into a rough, short kiss. "Frankie?"

"Gerard, please don’t freak out because of what I'm going to say, okay? And don't hate me, okay? Can you promise me?" he plays with the corners of my collar.

"Frank, I won't freak out. And no matter how hard I will try, you know I can't hate you. Come on…" I pet his hair, granting a disgusted look from a girl from our school who just passed by.

"We haven't been… there… since..." he couldn’t finish the sentence but I knew what he meant. I knew damn well. My eyebrows furrowed and he looked up at me.

"I knew I'd upset you…" he looks down but I pull his chin up.

"You didn’t. You're right, Frankie. We need to go there, do some sort of closure…" I say and he nods. "come on." We start walking, his tiny shoulders still tucked under my arm. We didn’t talk much on the way, I guess after mentioning the mill and being headed there our mood just seriously dropped.

As we reached the metal door to the bridge I stop, and so does Frank. I take a deep breath and close my eyes.

"Gerard, you ok?" he asks and I feel his hand grab my arm. I don't respond, I don’t nod either. I'm really NOT ok right now. He rubs my back soothingly. Somehow now, unlike any other day, his touch is not as calming.

I open my eyes to look at him, and cup his face in my hands.

"I love you Frankie." I say, and pull him in for a gentle, soft closed-mouth kiss. It takes everything I have inside of me to stop the tears from spilling out of my eyes,

We pull away and Frank takes both of my hands in his. "I love you, too." He says and rubs the back of my hand with his thumb.

"You're not okay, are you?" man, this guy can read me like a book. I shake my head and look down. He stokes my hair lightly and puts his hands on my shoulders with a tight grip on them.

"Come on, Gee. We're strong enough to do it." He says, and I nod.

"Let's go straight down. I can't risk the possibility of losing you again to the bridge…" I say and he nods as we connects out hands and go on the bridge.

My eyes are filled with tears instantly. I hold them back though, we have to be strong now. I glance at Frank and his face looks as if every emotion had been just erased off of it. He looks… kind of robotic.

But then again, what do you expect when you come to a place that holds such painful memories. You cant just be all fine when you remember your failed suicide attempt, that shit fucking hurts.

I would never do it again. Right now, I really am happy that the bridge wasn't tall enough to kill us, thank god. I wouldn't have had Frank if we died.

We skip down the metal stairs and soon reach it. The place where I found Frank laying unconscious, and thought he was already dead. And also the place where I landed afterwards.

Ouch.

It really stings my chest to be here right now. We are still standing at the end of the stairs. God, I'm really not ready to go there. The ache in my chest gets stronger as we keep looking at the spot, and I tore my hand out of Franks grasp to grab my chest strongly and wince in pain.