The one that got away

1. And it begins

Calen was silently eyeing his friends, Lex and Kerky. They were inside a bar that night, they have a gig and yet his two friends were doing nothing but sit beside their so called girlfriends and laugh like there is no tomorrow. Hindi niya maintindihan kung anong nangyayari sa mga kaibigan niya. They had been through so much together tapos dahil lang sa mga babae ay nagkakalabuan na sila? Maiintidihan niya pa si Kerky, he looked really in love with that Freaky Hanna girl pero si Lex? Of all people si Keith pa ang kinabagsakan nito? They hated each other for crying out loud!

"Cal, set na natin." he heard Caleb -- his twin brother called him. Pasimpleng tiningnan niya lang ito at saka nilagpasan. He wanted nothing to do with him. He wanted him put of his life. Alam niyang hindi siya dapat magalit dito, he was his brother, hindi nga lang basta kapatid, they were twins and yet he couldn't just bring himself into forgiving him. 

Nilagpasan niya ito. He wasn't in the mood for playing that night but he knew he had to or else Rika -- their manager would lose her temper again and scold him. Sawa na siya na palagi na lang siya ang blacksheep sa band. He was trying really hard to do good. After all, a night spent in jail and three weeks he spent in the hospital meant something to him. Siguro ay kailangan na niyang magbago. 

"Hoy, ngumiti ka naman!" binatukan siya ni Lex. Hindi niya ito pinansin. "Calen..."

He faced him and flashed him a finger. 

"Fuck off." 

Nagtuloy-tuloy siya sa stage. He took the mic and he took his acoustic guitar. Wala sa plano ang kakanta siya but then he wanted to sing his heart out, he wanted the pain gone, pero alam niyang hindi iyon basta maaalis. 

When the audience saw him, they started shouting his name. He just gave them a half hearted smiled and started strumming his guitar. 

He closed his eyes. Tonight will be just like any night of his life. He will sing his pain away, he will sing that song to freshen up the wounds of the past, he would sing about her, that one woman whom she loved but managed to hurt him a hundred times. He will sing about that one woman, the one that got away... 

---------

Some years ago...

Gumuhit ang ngiti sa aking labi nang makita ko ang babaeng kanina ko pa hinahanap. Si Cinderella, she was sitting on one of the two swings at the park. Napakaganda talaga niya. Habang naglalakad ako patungo sa kanya ay wala akong ibang naririnig kundi ang malakas na pagtibok ng aking puso. Iniisip ko pa lang na kakausapin ko siya ay parang nagwawala na ang lahat ng nerves sa aking katawan. Natatakot akong lapitan siya pero kung magpapatalo ako sa takot, anong mangyayari sa akin?

I remember what my dad used to tell me, he said that if I really want something I should go and get it. And I really want Cinderella to be a part of my life -- I know, people might think I'm too young to even know that fact, but seventeen is not young. I know what I want at si Cinderella iyon. 

Marahil ay sobrang lalim na ng mga iniisip ko, hindi ko na napansin na nakatingin na pala siya sa akin at nakangiti. 

"Hey, Filipino friend." she smiled. I was really surprised. Nakita na pala niya ako. Dahan-dahang huminto ang mga paa ko nang makalapit ako sa kanya. 

"Hi, Cinderella." I smiled. Napahawak ako sa aking dibdib. Ang bilis-bilis ng tibok ng puso ko. 

"Calen, that's your name." she said. "Isn't it a nice summer day?" she said. I was really fascinated with her. Nang makilala ko siya noong isang araw ay nagtanong-tanong ako sa iba. I found out na kalilipat lang pala nila sa village and that she is half Korean and half Filipino. She came here with her family.

"You like summer?" I asked back. 

"Yes, in Korea summer season is a very colorful season, the cold is bearable and I get to spent that time of year in Jeju island." tumingala siya sa akin. "When are you going to stop smiling?" she giggled. Na-froze ang ngiti ko. Hindi ko alam na mukha na pala akong tanga. Napapailing na umupo ako sa katabing swing at saka muling tiningnan siya. 

"Are you ever going back to Korea?" I asked her. She shrugged. 

"Abeoji said that we'll be staying here for a long time. He wants me to know the roots of my eomeoni."

"Abeoji?" nagtatakang tanong niya. 

"Korean for Papa, Eomeoni is for Mama." 

"I see..." napalunok ako... 

"What is that your hiding on you right hand?" she asked out of curiosity. I just smiled. Dahan-dahan kong inilabas ang isang tangkay ng pulang rosas na pinitas ko sa garden ni Mom kanina. Patago pa iyon dahil kapag nalaman niya na pumitas ako, siguradong magagalit na naman sa akin iyon. 

"Roses..." kinuha niya iyon sa akin. "Kamsahamnida!" nag-bow pa siya sa akin. Napangiti naman ako nang makita kong pinaglalaruan niya sa kanyang kamay ang rose na bigay ko. Bigla ay parang may naisip siya. 

"Yaya said something to me last night." she said. I looked at her and waited for the next thing she will say. "Are you making me lugaw?"

"Lugaw?" kumunot ang noo ko. "Gusto mo ng lugaw? Masarap magluto ng lugaw ang yaya ko, gusto mo ba iyon?" 

"Yes, lugaw, you know, when a boy courts the girl. You are making her lugaw cause you are giving her flowers and chocolates and everything. In Korea, when someone makes lugaw they usually give them rice cakes or kimchi." 

"Ligaw!" he exclaimed. "Lugaw is food, Cinderella. Ligaw is courtship." 

"Okay so are you making me ligaw?" 

Hindi ako nakasagot. Am I making her ligaw? Hindi ko inaasahan na ganito kaprangka ang babaeng ito. Anong problema niya? Napalunok ako. Kung itatanggi ko, walang mangyayari sa akin. Gusto ko naman siya kaya bakit pa ako magpapakipot?

"Yes... if it's fine with you, I am making you lugaw este ligaw pala." nagyuko ako ng ulo. 

"You're blushing." she stated. Lalo akong napayuko. Wala pa yatang babae ang nakapag-blush sa akin. Nakakahiya... 

"It's okay... Tomorrow, give me some white roses. I like white roses, Calen." she said. I looked at her and smiled. 

May pag-asa yata ako... 

"White roses it is..."